I'm Scared Of Losing You
by TheFlashFics94
Summary: Lydia's been ignoring Stiles ever since Allison died and he's been with Malia. She goes to see him and tells him how she feels over ice cream at the boardwalk. May be a one shot or longer. Stydia. WARNING: Your feels may be at risk.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! So I wrote this about a month ago, but I was debating about posting it because I didn't know if I'd have enough time to update it along with my other two fics. Also, I have another fic that's pretty similar to this - Lydia harboring this secret crush on Stiles when he's with Malia - so I wasn't sure if I wanted to just merge the two or keep them separate. I know that I want the other one to have multiple chapters. So please let me know what you think and review this! Thanks for reading :)

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Ever since I found out that I was a banshee my feeling for Stiles have been growing if not evident. He's always been obsessively annoying growing up, and when I found out about Jackson and everyone else's supernatural involvement I realized that I had no other choice but to interact with him.

Why this happened? I don't know. I didn't want to fall in love anymore. I mean, not this soon. When Aiden came around I obviously wanted a distraction, and he gave me that. He distracted me from reality for moments at a time, which was great. Until I was with Stiles and he brought me back to life. I know that sounds cliché and it makes me the stupid girl who fell in love with the guy too late.

That's why this was so hard to deal with. I knew that Stiles had moved on. Malia was obviously into him, and he was clearly attracted to her. They spent time together, they smiled at each other a lot, sat really close together at lunch, and sucked each other's faces off in between classes. It's safe to say they were a thing.

So why was I here in his drive way? Why was I telling myself that he'd be excited to see me? And why was I thinking when I left that things would be different between us?

Before I totally chickened out I rang the doorbell. A few moments passed and the door opened. "Lydia," The Sheriff smiled. "Haven't seen you here in a while." He motioned for me to step inside.

I shrugged as I did so. "You know…"

To my surprise he knew exactly why I hadn't been around. Honestly, it probably wasn't that hard to guess why. "Hopefully things will be back to normal soon. I miss having you around."

"I miss being around."

He gave me a small smile. "He's upstairs. I'm on my way out. Headed to the station. I'll see you later, hopefully?" He stepped out of the door.

"Maybe." I tucked my hair behind my ear.

He gave me a full smile before leaving.

As I headed upstairs I wondered how long the Sheriff suspected that I had feelings for his son. What if Stiles wasn't alone? John would've told me if he wasn't. That's if Malia comes through the front door. If even heard a female voice I was bolting.

Childish Gambino was playing in the background. The door was open as I approached his room. There he was. A spike of fear jolted through my body at the sight of him. What I wasn't prepared to see was him towel drying his dark brown hair as water dripped down his surprisingly muscular chest. I was thankful that he had on a pair of lacrosse shorts. If I had the opportunity to see water dripping down his entire body I would probably jump on that like a fat kid at a buffet. No offense to fat kids and all, but my sexual attraction to Stiles has been ravenous lately. I think about him when I'm with Aiden, I think about him when I'm in by myself and in the shower. Basically, I think about him in any and all sexual situations.

"Lydia?"

My eyes focused on Stiles, who was starting at me with surprised eyes.

"Are you okay?"

I stepped in the room. "Yeah, I just…" My eyes went to his bare chest.

He came at me, wrapping me into his tight embrace. His muscles contracted around me, his tight abs pressed against my stomach.

I tried my best to suppress a moan as I hugged him back. His body wash hit me like a brick. It should be called, Make Lydia Ready To Go instead of whatever it was.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

He pulled away first, which was a first. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded unable to use my words.

"So you're just here to see me?" He asked, surprised.

I smiled as I headed for his bed, then remembered the activities that took place on the sheets, I stood awkwardly by it.

He laughed. "Their clean, I promise." He smiled in a charming way.

This was what I was talking about. Stiles didn't seem like the hyperactive teen with a decade long crush on me anymore. He was a man. A confident and sexy man. An example would be how he didn't rush to put on his shirt after I sat down. Maybe he was used to be naked around Malia. No complaints came from me, but it was hard to think.

He searched through his closet for a shirt after I averted my eyes for a few awkward moments.

I bit my bottom lip as water ran down his back. I wanted to lick my way up his muscular back. I wanted to run my hands down his abs and into-

"Lydia," He called loudly.

"What?" I met his whiskey eyes. He now had on a black shirt.

"What are you doing?"

Could he read my mind? I've always wondered how far our emotional tether connection went. If he could I'd be thoroughly embarrassed. "What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nevermind."

I didn't want him to be annoyed with me. I wanted him to be happy with me, so I reached for conversation. "How are things with Malia?"

He shrugged. "They're okay." He picked a book off the floor and placed it on his desk.

"So you really like her, huh?"

He focused on something far away before answering after a few long moments. "I'm not sure. She's great and we have fun, but…"

I felt a shortness of breath. "But?"

He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I just don't see myself really loving her. At least, not being in love with her."

My breath came back. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I guess that means Aiden's still not doing right by you?" He sat the edge of his desk, looking naughty in an innocent way.

Aiden was complicated. He knew full well of my feelings for Stiles, he just could tell. He didn't care because he didn't really love me, which I was okay with. He would never be good enough. Not when I had my standards set to Stiles Stilinski.

A bittersweet smile broke onto my lips. "It's only a matter of time before we stop whatever it is we're doing. I'm ready for something serious." I met his eyes. "Just not with him."

His brow lifted. "That's great."

I gave a clipped laugh. "I wish I didn't go for the assholes. What's wrong with me?" Before I knew it tears were spilling over my eyes.

Stiles brought his computer chair over and sat in front of me. He handed me a tissue. "Don't cry. There's nothing wrong with you, Lydia." His whiskey eyes gazed into mine. "I would know because I was kind of obsessed with you since third grade."

I laughed.

"Do you remember that?"

I smiled as I started at him.

"I would've known if there was something wrong with you. You're perfect."

My heart was on the verge of leaping out of my chest as I huffed. "Why are you so nice to me? I was really mean to you. I don 't deserve you're friendship."

He looked shocked or maybe he was upset. "You were worth it."

I knew what he saw in me. I knew that he liked that I was smarter than a lot of people, that I was girly and feminine, that I had high expectations for myself. What I didn't understand was why he didn't move on when I didn't express my interest. Why wait for someone for eight years just to have their rejection as a constant reminder?

My hand reached out for his. "You've always been too good for me."

He was silent for several moments before asking, "Do you want to go somewhere with me?"

"What are you saying? I looked at Lydia like she had two heads. There was no way what she said was possible. "I didn't know you felt that way."

She laughed as she playfully bumped into me. "It's just that it's so greasy and unhealthy. There's no way I'm touching those curly fries." She pushed my hand away.

"No way."

"Can you break loose just once?"

She looked at me with some confusing expression. "I have fun."

I'm sure she did.

"I mean, I'm not boring." She said as more of a question. "Am I?"

I smirked, inserting a curly fry into my mouth and looking the other way. I found that being nonchalant with Lydia made her less closed off from me. She didn't see me as the nerd kid with a massive and slightly obsessively crush on her anymore, but rather a friend who she could go out in public with and talk to. At least that's how I felt she saw me as. Otherwise, she wouldn't be here with me.

Her forehead was crinkled and she had this faraway look in her eyes when I turned back to her. "If you feel like you're boring then why don't you change that? Have some fun. "I offered her the plate of curly fries. To my surprise, she actually ate one. There was a really off-putting expression on her face that I've never seen before. "Geez, don't look so excited about it." I cracked a smile.

She gave me a look of distain, which was equally as funny as the previous look. "I could taste the grease more than anything else. Stiles, how can you eat that?"

"Years of dedication and practice." I deadpanned.

She tried to hide her smile, but it was so bright that it couldn't be dimmed. Moments like this was what made me it all worth it. All that pining and longing. All that frustration. All that lusting. It didn't matter if she never wanted to be with me, this was enough because I liked to think very few people ever see this side of Lydia.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

"What are you talking about?" As far as I knew she had nothing to apologize for.

She wouldn't meet my eyes. "I should've been there for you after everything that happened with the Nogitsune and Allison."

How was she feeling guilty for that?

"I wanted to be there for you, but I didn't know how. I'm sorry."

I could hear the genuine sadness in her voice, as a result I wanted to comfort her, but her words were bringing up my guilt. "I understand. If I was you I wouldn't want to be around me either. Not after everything I did."

She stopped walking as she looked at me with sad eyes. "Stiles, I never blamed you for that." Her green eyes bore into mine. "You have to know that."

There was so much intensity in them that I had to look away. I didn't deserve their forgiveness. I wanted it, but I hadn't expected it.

"These last few weeks have been hard without you." She slowly started down the boardwalk.

I followed at the same pace. "Really?" I didn't mean to sound desperate, but it came out that way.

She nodded, her strawberry blonde hair hide her face from my view. "You must think I take you for granted." She met my eyes. There was that intensity again. "But I don't. I'm sorry if I made you think that I don't care or appreciate you because I did. I mean, I do." She averted her eyes toward the dark ocean. "Sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I didn't know about any of this, if I didn't have any of you in my life. Especially you."

"Me?"

She crossed her arms, but didn't shiver. "It was a combination of you and Allison that humbled me."

My brow furrowed. "How did I humble you? I'm pretty sure that I followed you around like a lost puppy for most of my life. Or did you think that was me playing hard to get?"

She cracked a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was referring to when you saved me at the dance."

It was my turn to stop. "You know about that? Why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I thought it was sweet." She sighed. "I heard everything you said to Peter. I pretended not to because I wasn't ready to believe."

I wasn't quite sure where she was going with this, so I just let her talk.

"When I did believe it wasn't on option that I could rely on you. I just did. After a while, I didn't even think about it, you were just the person I went to when things went wrong. Besides Allison."

A warm feeling flooded me. I felt honored. "To be fair, I didn't really give you much of a choice, did I?"

She started walking backwards. "Well, I'm glad that you didn't."

My lips still held traces of a smile. "Why are you telling me this?"

Her smile fell as she hesitated about answering. She turned around and lowered her head, her hair hide her from me. "I'm scared."

Instinct kicked in and I wanted to hug her and comfort her. "Of what?"

My hand was almost on her shoulder when she said, "Of losing you."

I took a few steps back to take in what she said. "Why would you lose me?"

She was shaking. I took off my jacket and gave it to her even though she already had one on. She wrapped my jacket around her tightly. "You spend all of you time with Malia. I know I don't have a place to say something without sounding like a jealous ex-girlfriend."

I was a loss for words. Was she jealous? It didn't matter if she was, it just mattered that she felt left out, which was not my intention.

My hand tugged on hers, pulling her back to me. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me closer than I ever thought possible without some supernatural interference. "You're not losing me." I whispered into her ear as I hugged her back.

This time I let her break away from me. She looked up at me with wet green eyes. I couldn't believe I was having this effect on her.

"Why are you crying?"

She wiped at her eyes, her cheeks flushed. "I'm just relieved." She gave me a half smile.

I didn't like her being this upset over me. I felt extremely guilty for feeling happy. "You know, I hear that ice cream makes you feel better when you're emotional."

A hint of a smile played on her lips. "I think it's frozen yogurt you're talking about."

"What happened to having fun?"

A few minutes later we had ice cream as we talked about Scott and Kira. "I'm sure if we force them together they'll talk it out."

"Yeah. He's just nervous around her now. He doesn't know what to say." I explained.

She sighed. "Kira's no better. She's all butterflies in the stomach when she sees him. Not that I blame her. Sometimes you can't help who you like."

"Tell me about it."

She looked at me like a kicked puppy.

Shit. "That's not what I meant."

What did I mean?

She let it go as she checked her phone. I saw Aiden's name. He was asking her to come over. She replied that she couldn't, which made me smile. She started licking her chocolate ice cream, and I had to turn away because it shamefully turned me on.

I paid attention to my strawberry ice cream cone. "Are you ignoring Aiden?"

She texted him another protest. "Yeah, you would think he would get that I have feelings for someone else, but-" She abruptly stopped talking as she looked t me.

Was she talking about me? It was stupid to think that, but her oddly shy behavior was now making sense.

"I mean…"

Instead of making her feel awkward about it like a dick I acted nonchalant. "It's not me, is it?"

Her deafening silence became awkward.

I stopped walking. "Is it?"

Despite myself I laughed because the damn near impossible proved to be possible.

"It's not funny, Stiles." She blushed beet red as she playfully shoved me.

"I'm sorry I laughed." I looked at her with traces of a smile on my lips. "You just caught me off guard."

There was that intensity in the way she looked at me that now made sense. She was so beautiful as she stared at me. "Is it so unbelievable that I'd have feelings for you?"

How was I supposed to answer that? She knew as well as I did that I retired my ten year plan after Allison died. As soon as Malia came into the picture it was easier to be without Lydia, it was easier to feel pleasure. With Lydia, my feelings were never reciprocated.

I sighed as I looked straight ahead. "Yeah, it is. I let you go because I knew that you didn't want me. I accepted that."

She looked sad.

"We have school tomorrow. Let's head back."

"Okay."

The car ride back to Stiles' house was quiet, but not awkward. I think we were both thinking about the ramifications of tonight's events and how tomorrow we will be different. Maybe he'll still feel the same about wanting to stay with Malia. Maybe he won't. I don't even know what I want. Just because I had feelings for Stiles doesn't mean that we should be together. Would we even work out? Stiles built up these expectations about me, about who he thought I was, and a part of me was afraid that the real thing wouldn't be half as good for him.

We pulled in front of his house. Silence ensued.

"How do you feel about things staying the same between us?" Stiles asked. "As friends?"

I turned toward him and nodded. "I don't want to lose what we have. I don't want us to go there and jeopardize everything. You mean so much to me, much more than Jackson ever did." It was the truth. Stiles touched my heart like a soft caress. Now I was afraid that if he held it in his hands he'd want to give it back.

He nodded in agreement. "Will it bother you to see me with Malia?"

I looked down at my hands, wanting to tell him of course it would, but that wouldn't do me any good. He'd just feel sorry for me. "Not if you're happy with her, and you look happy with her." I couldn't hide the twinge of sadness in my voice. Now that he knew I liked him he could probably hear it and recognize it for what it was.

His warm hand took mine as he scooted closer to me. His cinnamon eyes caught mine. "She's not the only person that makes me happy. I'll always have time for you." He noticed the worried look on my face. "What?"

I huffed. "You say that now. What if you and Malia do get serious? Or you find some other girl?" My mind thought of the worse possible scenarios. I gasped. "What if you get married?"

A tiny hint of a smile graced his lips. "When have I never had time for you?"

"There was that one time I was crying. You said that you talk with me, but then you never came back."

He huffed. "Your lizard boyfriend paralyzed Derek. He fell into the pool, I had to hold him up. We were trapped for like two hours."

Oh. I always thought he forgot.

Besides that, I've always been there for you, haven't I?"

I nodded. "Even when I didn't deserve it." I tucked my hair behind my ear to look at him. "You don't understand that I didn't deserve you. I _don't_ deserve you."

He looked really uncomfortable. I didn't blame him. What was he going to say to that? He didn't want to argue with me.

He huffed before meeting my eyes. "Lydia, what do you want me to say, that I agree with you?" Because I don't and you know that."

My heart skipped a beat. "You didn't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt." My hand wrapped around the door handle.

He tightened his grip on my hand, causing me to look at him. "Wait." His eyes dropped to my lips. "I need to know."

"Need to know-"

His lips fiercely pulled at mine. There was no amount of time that could've prepared me for the intensity of our union. I fell prey to the hand that cupped my cheek, the lips that caressed my own, and then tongue that controlled mine. It's cliché to say that this was the kiss that turned my world upside down, and it wasn't, but it felt pretty life-changing. This was a million times better than our locker room kiss.

When he pulled away all I couldn't do was stare at him in awe. He, on the other hand, looked surprised, like he hadn't thought my feelings for him to true until now. The hand that cupped my face stroked my cheek lightly as his brow furrowed.

A blush reddened my cheeks as I looked down. "I'm going to go." I pulled away from his warm hand.

As I headed down his drive way he called out to me. "Lydia-"

I turned back to him. "If we're going to be just friends you can't kiss me and expect things to stay the same.

His eyes looked sad. "You're right." He nodded. "I just…had to know it was real."

"Now you do." I headed for my car, which I parked on the side of the street.

He caught my wrist, before I could get in the car. "Did you like it?" His voice sincere.

A smile perched on my lips as I rubbed my lipstick off of his lips. "What do you think?"

His lips turned up at the corner. He did another thing that took me off guard. He hugged me.

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SO what did you guys think? Please review and let me know if you want more chapters! Feel free to suggest things or criticize my writing. Anything helps. Thanks for reading!


	2. Just Friends

Sorry that this took longer than I expected. I have two older/longer fics that I'm working on and the sexual version of this that I'm working on. Updating will be sporadic just because I'm also trying to get a chapter per fic up instead of focusing on one fic. Please let me know what you think and make sure to check out my other fics u/4983437/DeniquaNFrye and let me know what you think of those. My other fic pairings are Stydia, Scora, Stalia, Stora, Allisaac. IF YOU LIKE ALLISAAC PAIRINGS READ HE SAW ME LOOKING AT HIM AND WE SORT OF RAN INTO EACH OTHER.

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STILES' POV:

Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe I was getting bad again. Maybe I daydreamed it. I don't know. There's just no logical explanation to Lydia Martin liking me. Of course, I didn't think I was unattractive, but I just didn't think I was on her radar. I'm sure that she regret it, if it even happened.

I sat up in my bed, trying not to think about Lydia, but it just wasn't happening. My clock read 5:46 am. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and dialed the number.

"Stiles," She answered on the first ring. "What's wrong?" Concern colored her voice.

"Tell me it was real. Tell me that it wasn't a dream."

She let out a relieved breath. "It feels like one."

I wasn't in this alone, but I was also so stupid. "I woke you up, didn't I?"

"No. I couldn't sleep. I was about to call you." She sighed.

"Why didn't you?"

I heard my dad get up. He was getting ready for work.

"Well, you've been having trouble sleeping. I just didn't want to wake you up." After a few seconds of silence, she said, "Are you planning on going back to sleep?"

I thought about it, but now that I've heard her voice I was wired. "I couldn't even if I tried."

She laughed. "Can I come over then?" She sensed my hesitation. "I promise that I won't do anything to jeopardize our friendship."

I smiled. "Well, only if you promise." My brow furrowed. "I never thought we'd be having this conversation." It was weird.

"That makes two of us." She was rustling around in her room. "I'm on my way."

"Hey, make sure you don't come over here wearing some skimpy shorts."

She scoffed. "Please. I wear lingerie to bed. But I'll cover up just for you. Bye." She half sung before hanging up.

Part of me really hoped that she came over here in lingerie just to see how far we would go. The other part really hoped she didn't because I didn't want to risk our friendship. At least, that's what she wanted.

I headed for the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth and make sure there was no crud in my eyes.

"You up already?" My dad asked as I walked into the kitchen. He was making a pot of coffee.

I leaned against the wall adjacent to the fridge. "Lydia's coming over."

He looked at his watch to check the time. "At this hour? Is she okay?" Concern filled his voice.

"Yeah, she's fine. Neither of us could sleep, so. . ."

His brow furrowed as he thought about it. "Should we be having another talk?"

"Are you serious? Dad, it's Lydia."

He gave me a disappointed look. "If you can't see how Lydia feels about you than you must be dumber than I thought."

My brow furrowed. "Uh, thanks dad." I said sarcastically.

"I just don't want you missing out on something amazing with a girl you're crazy about. Guys your age don't really get hints."

I opened the fridge and started making some bacon and eggs. "Like you're one to talk. Why did Melissa McCall come by last night?"

He scoffed.

My eyes rolled on their own. He was so oblivious. "Lydia would probably kill me if she found out I told you, but we kissed." I met his eyes.

He smiled, looking proud. "You kissed?"

"Technically, this was our second kiss. She kissed me to stop my panic attack."

He stepped toward me. "When did you have a panic attack? I thought you outgrew those. And why didn't you tell me?"

I flipped the eggs and bacon. "When the Darach took Allison's dad. I knew she had everything she needed to complete the sacrifice. It wasn't a big deal, I didn't tell anyone."

He looked sad as if all of this was his fault. "So if you two kissed then why aren't you dating? In my day, kissing meant you liked someone."

"If only it were that simple." I checked the food. She'd be here soon.

He checked his coffee. "How complicated could it be? She likes you, you love her. And no offense, but I'm not a Malia fan. She's nice and all, but she's not right for you. And don't think I don't know what you're doing together."

I blushed because I thought we were being sneaky. "Are you disappointed?"

He huffed. "No, I'm not. I just want you to treat her with more respect, and even though she may be okay with it, it's not right."

He was right. I was young and stupid. What if something happened and Malia got pregnant?

"She's almost here, so you should know that she doesn't want to ruin our friendship."

"What do you want?" He grabbed his mug from the cupboard.

"I just want her to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. And I get when she's coming from. It would totally suck if we didn't have our friendship anymore. Compared to last year we've come a long way." I sighed. "Part of me thinks that she's focused on me because of Allison being gone. I don't want to be her default choice."

"Well, isn't she close with Kira now?"

I nodded.

"So you're not her default choice, Kira is. No offense to Kira."

Oh, I hadn't thought of that.

"Are you sure that she wants to be just friends because you know girls are tricky. Maybe she was testing you?"

I thought about it. "Oh. . ." Shit. "She said that's what she wanted."

He nodded as he poured his coffee into his mug. "What did you say when she told you?"

Shit again. "I laughed."

He gave me a funny look. "You're a weird kid."

I grinned. "Thank you."

The doorbell rang. My heart jumped. "She's here." I looked at the door wide-eyed.

He just laughed as he went to answer it.

I turned the stove off, grabbing some plates from the cupboard.

She greeted him cheerfully. They hugged.

"Stiles, I'm gone. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Lydia's head popped around the corner. "Hey," She smiled. She held up a bag of bagels. She sat them down on the kitchen counter as I put food on our plates. "Yum, we can make sandwiches."

"You're really smart." I said sarcastically.

She playfully bumped me with her hip. "You love my brain."

We made the sandwiches then went to the living room and popped a movie in.

"So, I've been doing some thinking," She started. "I don't think I should've told you."

My brow furrowed. "Why not?"

She sighed, then turned to me. "Because I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I know that you're happy with Malia. Or at least with your current situation, and I don't want to get in the way of things, you know?"

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LYDIA'S POV:

He nodded in agreement as I told him what was on my mind, but he didn't say anything.

"And it's not like it changes anything." Even though it did for me, but I could tell he didn't want anything to change. The old Stiles would've been jumping at the chance and he so obviously wasn't.

"You kissed Stiles?" Kira asked loudly as she leaned next to my locker.

I shushed her. "God, Kira. Tell the whole school why don't you?" I shoved all the books I didn't need inside of my locker.

"So, was it good?" She leaned in.

My cheeks heated up. "Yeah." I could feel a smile tugging at my lips.

She laughed. "Look at you, all blushy over Stilinski."

I gave her a look. "Kira can you stop saying his name. There are freaking werewolves at this school with werewolf hearing, who happens to be his best friends."

She just smiled at me. "So what happened? Like are you dating or what?"

I checked my reflection. "He doesn't want to risk our friendship, which I agree with, but I want more. I really want more if you know what I mean?" She made an innocent face. "I forgot, you're waiting for "The One", which I'm assuming is Scott?"

It was her turn to shush me. "I'm not sure anymore. I mean, I don't want it to be with just anybody, but-I don't know." She sagged against the locker.

I smiled at her, knowing her struggle. Jackson was my first and we didn't have sex until the summer before sophomore year.

"Hey, Kira." Malia said.

I turned toward her. She gave me a smile. "Hey, Malia."

"Hey, have you seen Stiles?"

Annoyance filled me. "No, I haven't. He's probably by his locker or with Scott at his locker."

She looked down the hall. "Oh, there he is."

I looked over my shoulder to see Stiles talking with Scott. They were both smiling. Instinctively, I smiled because of his smile. My heart fluttered in my chest.

Malia went up to him and kissed him right on the mouth, and I mean like full on tongue and her hands in his hair. He looked confused, but kissed her back.

My heart stopped in my chest. Then they broke apart the kiss and he met my eyes. Quickly, I turned around, slammed my locker and walked off-stormed off was more like it-with Kira in tow. She knew better than to ask me if I was okay with Scott just down the hall.

My blood was boiling. She didn't do that to mess with me, but it sure felt like it.

Once we were in our third period class she asked, "So I guess you're not okay with him seeing Malia?"

I huffed. "I thought I was, Kira." I turned toward her with pathetic eyes. "Obviously not."

Third period dragged on, but not long enough. I didn't want to face Stiles in our next class. God, I was so embarrassed. He had to know that I was lying by now.

"Good luck." Kira said as we parted ways.

"Thanks. See you at lunch." I said dismally.

She laughed.

I blew out a heavy breath as I entered the classroom, thankful that Stiles wasn't there yet. We didn't exactly sit next to each other lately, but I still had to watch him come in and sit down and ignore me.

I took my seat next to Danny. He gave me a smile. "So what's this I hear about you and St-"

"Don't say it!" I threatened.

He held up his hands in surrender.

I wanted to apologize, but Stiles came up to us.

"Danny, do you mind if I sit here today?"

Danny smiled as he got up. "No, problem."

All I could do was stare at him in confusion.

"Hey," He looked confused. "So what was that about earlier?"

I flipped my hair over my shoulder. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lydia, come on. I saw you."

The teacher came into class. She started talking about the assignment that's due the day after tomorrow.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you." I avoided his eyes.

"How about the truth?" He whispered.

I turned to him. "Stiles, can we not do this now?" I whispered back angrily.

He saw the hurt in my eyes and nodded. "Later." He said in a way that meant we were talking about this no matter what and I found it incredibly sexy.

"Fine."

About fifteen minutes into class a balled up piece of paper hit my nose and landed on the desk. I looked at the only culprit there could be. He was pointedly looking in the other direction. I ignored him as I tried to fight a smile. Minutes later another ball hit me in the head, this time I chose to ignore it, but I ended up covering my laugh with a cough. Somehow I knew when the next one was coming and it hit me square on the forehead. I stared at him in wide-eyed amusement.

"What are you doing?" I mouthed.

He shrugged.

I just narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head.

* * *

STILES'S POV:

She was definitely not telling me something. The way she just stormed down the hall after Malia kissed me. The thing was that Malia kissing me in public wasn't anything new, so why was Lydia upset? She was the one that wanted to remain just friends, so it had to be something else. Unless she was lying, but I don't think she was.

"Dude, what was that?" Scott asked me after Malia left for class.

I shrugged.

"So I'm guessing you two definitely had a talk."

My eyes narrowed at him. "What do you know McCall?"

He held his hands up in mock surrender. "Nothing that you shouldn't already know."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that girls are confusing and you need to talk to Lydia again." He patted me on the back before we parted ways to different classes.

What the hell happened? Everything this morning was perfect, well near perfect. I could've done without the 'I shouldn't have told you' comment, but whatever. Now Lydia was probably mad at me and I didn't even do anything. She did say she was okay with Malia and I being together, whatever we were.

I scratched my head as I entered my third period class. My mind was elsewhere all period. The last three months have been hard enough without Lydia really being in it, and now that she told me how she felt it didn't feel any better. Okay, it did because the girl of my dreams felt the same way. Maybe not the exact same way, but semantics.

When the bell rung I walked to my next class in a trance. Since everything with Allison, Lydia and I didn't sit together in class, which I understood. Today, I needed to be near her, I needed to talk to her about earlier.

She was talking with Danny when I walked in.

"Danny, do you mind if I sit here today?"

He smiled as he got up. "No, problem."

She stared at me with confusion in her moss green eyes. God, she looked beautiful.

"Hey," I sat down. "So what was that about earlier?"

She did one of her hair flips. I don't know why I found that attractive, but I did. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lydia, come on. I saw you."

The teacher came into class, but I didn't care about what they were saying.

She wouldn't look at me. "I don't know what you want me to tell you."

"How about the truth?" I whispered.

She finally looked at me. "Stiles, can we not do this now?" She was mad.

The hurt in her eyes was unmistakable. It didn't seem real that I had put that there, but I was determined to figure out what happened. "Later."

"Fine."

She looked at me with narrow eyes after I kept throwing balled up pieces of paper at her. I could tell she was trying to pay attention and not let her smile break loose. She peeped at me and within seconds her dimples were showing. I dreamed about those dimples as weird it sounds.

My phone vibrated in my pocket.

Scott: If you talk to Lydia ask her about Kira. Ask her if she asked about me.

I rolled my eyes then showed it to Lydia quickly before the teacher saw. She rolled her eyes just the same. When would those two just talk to each other already? It wasn't that hard. They both know how the other feels. I guess. It's been three months, but nothing's really changed.

When the bell rung Lydia and I awkwardly walked to the door together. "Do you want to hang out after school? It's been a while."

She thought about it as we walked down the hall. "Uh, you don't think Malia would mind?"

My brow lifted. "Why would she mind? She likes you, doesn't she?"

She lifted her shoulders in question. "I guess. It's just she's really territorial and all."

"She won't mind." I brushed it off even though it was kind of true to a certain extent. "Plus she knows we're just friends. She won't get jealous."

* * *

Lydia's POV:

"She won't mind. Plus she knows we're just friends. She won't get jealous." Stiles said nonchalantly as we headed to the cafeteria.

My heart sunk in my stomach. Part of me wanted to believe that he'd dump Malia and be with me if he really wanted to, the other part knew what was fact. He was over me. He didn't come after me when I walked away earlier, he didn't tell me that I was the only girl that mattered. We were _just_ friends. Who could blame him? I waited too damn long. Eight freaking years of being so incredibly impervious to his affections and how genuine they were. Now it was too late and I was completely in love with him. Could he tell?"

"I'm taking that as a yes." He said.

"Huh?" I looked up at him.

"Kira asked you about Scott?"

Oh. "Uh, kind of."

"Maybe we should set them up on a date?"

I made a face of disapproval. "No, that'd be weird. We can't force them to go out, although it would make things so much simpler."

He nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it." He gave me a small smile.

I started to smile just as Malia came up behind us. "Hey, guys." She took Stiles' hand in hers as she looked at me. "Lydia, how are you doing?"

My brow furrowed. "I'm good, why?"

She shrugged. "I haven't seen much of you. I barely know you as it is. Are you eating lunch with us?" There was hope in her voice.

I looked to Stiles for an answer, he just smiled encouragingly. God, I hated him. "Yeah, I guess." I met her eyes. "I just have to tell Kira." Who happened to be putting something in her locker when I rounded the corner. She smiled when she saw me, but did a double take when she saw Malia and Stiles hand in hand. Tell me about it.

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, unsure of the current situation.

Malia jumped at the chance to invite her to lunch. One thing I didn't take in regard was that Malia didn't have anybody for half her life. Now she just wanted to make friends. Besides Stiles and Scott, she didn't really have any. Kira and I didn't really try too hard to hang out with her.

Kira agreed to eat with us. I mean, I was eating with them, so she didn't really have any other choice. She didn't know anybody else either. This all felt sort of deva vu like. My thoughts went back to Allison. I smiled, then remembered she's not here anymore. Three months later and it still hurts. It hurt so much. Without Kira I don't know where I'd be.

"Lydia, you okay?" Stiles asked as we entered the cafeteria.

* * *

STILE'S POV:

"Lydia, you okay?" She'd been walking with a blank look on her face.

She met my eyes briefly and nodded.

Lunch couldn't have been more awkward if we all didn't have feelings for each other. Oh, wait. We did. The saddest part was watching Isaac try not to mope. He took Allison's death pretty harshly considering he didn't get a goodbye. What I pieced together was that she died in Scott's arms and she told him she loved him. That had to be hard on Isaac because it was pretty obvious those two had something flowing between them.  
Scott and Kira made some awkward eye contact before starting up conversation.

Later that evening Malia was laying on top of me as we wrapped the covers around us. She smiled down at me. She looked gorgeous.

"Why are you looking me like that?" She asked.

"Looking like what?"

She huffed. "Like you want to have a serious talk." When I didn't continue she said, "Spill, Stilinski."

I sighed, sitting up. "What do you want out of this? Out of us?"

"Uh," She thought about it. "I don't know. I mean, I thought we were having fun." She looked confused. "What do you want out of this?"

"Besides the obvious." I joked as she punched me in the arm. "I wanted to have fun and I am. Now I'm asking if you want to take this further?"

Her brow lifted. "What? You mean anal?"

I couldn't contain my laughter. That was ridiculous. "No, I meant if you wanted to take us further?"

"As in a real relationship?"

I nodded.

She thought about it for several seconds. "Is that something you want or are you just asking me because you think I want it?"

"Do you?"

"Do you?" She countered. "Where is this coming from?"

I rolled my eyes. "My dad knows about us."

"And?"

"And he basically said I should be treating you with more respect. I know you're not like most girls, but I still owe you the respect of asking."

She nodded. After a few moments of silence she asked, "What do you want my answer to be? I know that you're not over Lydia. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with this not being so serious because I've never been with anybody before. What we have is nice. You don't pressure me, you don't ignore me at school or treat me badly. I'm fine with what we have. So what do you want Stiles?"

I sighed. "I don't know what I want."

"Yes, you do."

I gave her a weird look. "How are you okay with this?"

She laughed. "I've been alone for half my life. I'm very observant. I know that Lydia has feelings for you. I knew before you knew. I mean, it's pretty obvious. She looks at you all dreamy like. You can't hear it, but her heartbeat picks up when she sees you and vice versa."

The cool thing was that she didn't seem to be mad. "What are you suggesting because I'm beyond confused?"

"Either we can keep doing this or you can tell Lydia how you feel."

"Well, we talked last night. She told me how she felt about me, but she just wanted to be friends, so…"

Her brow furrowed. "Friends my ass. She was so jealous when I kissed you." She grabbed my shoulder and squeezed. "Stiles, you got this."

We both laughed.

"Why are you giving me a pep talk to ask another girl out after we just cuddled?"

"You can't control who you like. It wouldn't be right of me to try and hold onto you when you two obviously have something. I thought I could ignore it, but I can't." She put her shoes on.

I grabbed her wrist. "Hey, you totally just chose for me."

"Yeah, I know." She bent down to kiss me. She pulled away after a few seconds. "Walk me out."

Before she headed for her car I pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry."

She hugged me back. "Really, it's fine. Besides, it's not like we're not going to hang out anymore." She pulled away. "If you get all douchebag on me I swear to God, Stiles."

There was amusement in voice. "Hey, I wouldn't do that."

She smiled. "I know."

We both saw Lydia's car pull up. She got out with a brown greasy bag which I assumed was Chinese food. She looked shocked when she spotted us standing on the porch. "Oh, hey guys." She looked back at her food. "I think I have enough for all of us." She gave a small smile.

"It's fine, I was just leaving." Malia said before looking back at me. "Heartbeat." She mouthed.

I just shook my head at her. "Aren't you on your way somewhere?" I asked mock harshness.

She hit me in the same spot as earlier. "See ya tomorrow, Stilinski." She smiled as she headed to her car. "Bye, Lydia."

"Bye."

I watched as she backed out of our driveway. Not to be a total guy, but I just lost some really good sex.

Lydia pushed past me and into the house. "I hope I didn't ruin anything." Sincerity dripped from her voice. I knew she really wanted me to be happy.

I followed her inside. "Nothing that wasn't already going nowhere."

She looked back at me as we reached the stairs. "What?"

"We, uh, ended things."

She stilled, then turned to face me. "What? Why? You were so cute together."

Okay, Malia was definitely wrong. If Lydia really wanted to be with me then she'd be the tiniest bit happy about this current switch of events.

"Honestly, we just didn't see it going anywhere."

She let that sink in then headed to my room, but stopped at the bed. "So can I sit on these sheets Casanova or should I sit on the floor?" She teased.

"Well, if you think cuddling is disgusting then you can sit on the floor." She looked confused. "We didn't have sex. That's not all we do when we hang out."

She seemed satisfied with that answer and took off her heels sat next to me cross-legged. She handed me my favorite. "So are we going to get the awkward part out of the way?"

My brow lifted. "What awkward part?"

She gave me a look. "The part where we talk about me being jealous at school." She shoved an eggroll into her mouth so she wouldn't have to talk anymore.

I laughed at her antics. "Go on."

She waited before she swallowed all her food. "Wipe that smile off your face, it's not funny."

"Isn't it?"

She blushed. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Making me nervous." She groaned and shoved more eggroll into her mouth.

She looked so cute all flustered and pouty. I especially enjoyed knowing it was all because of me. Maybe Malia was right after all.

I took her free hand in mine. Warmth radiated up my arm. "I'm not trying to make you nervous. Just tell me what's going on."

She huffed as she looked at our hands. "I'm scared." She wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Of what?"

"Of _you_."

It felt like someone hit me in the chest with a hammer. "What?"

She looked up at me. "I'm not scared of you, but what you'll do to me."

I was scared to ask. "What do you think I'll do to you?"

She looked really uncomfortable. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

"Lydia, I need to know where I stand with you. I need to know how you feel about me. So if you don't want to talk about it after tonight I won't bring it back up."

* * *

LYDIA'S POV:

"Fine, Stiles. I'm scared that you're going to run away if we took things further, that'd you'd realize that I'm not who you painted me out to be for eight years. And if you left me I would literally go out of my freaking mind. I'm selfish and I use people. You deserve better than that. You deserve a whole lot better than me. God, why don't you see that? Why did you stick around this long? And why can't you see how fucking amazing you are? God, you're so annoying with your intensity and your long hair. I can't get you out of my head. And I really don't want to mess up our friendship because you're probably the most important person in my life besides Allison. I need you in my life and not because she's gone. Life without you in it just seems so wrong. I need to be around you and your sarcasm and your spastic dorkiness." I blew out a heavy breath.

He just looked at me with a smile on his lips. "My intensity and long hair doesn't annoy you, does it?"

I tried to fight a smile. "That's all you got out of that?"

He was silent for what felt like forever. He looked at me with serious honey colored eyes and squeezed my hand, reminding me that his hand around mine felt more amazing than sex. "Just so we both understand, you want to be with me, but you also don't want to risk our friendship because you think I'm going to leave you?"

"Well, yeah. But what if we start something and then we both want to end it and then it's not the same anymore?"

He was amused by how concerned I was. "I'm probably going to regret this, but why don't we just focus on being friends first, then see where it goes. Maybe in a few weeks you'll forget you had all these feelings for me and you'll think of it as a cute memory." His tone suggestive.

Annoyance filled me. I really couldn't blame him because my track record wasn't the best. That didn't stop me from punching him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" He wore a small smile.

"You're not just some random guy that I want to use to distract myself. I really care about you, Stiles."

He rubbed his arm. "I know, but you could still meet someone."

I shrugged. I probably wouldn't meet anyone that comes close to making me feel how Stiles does. With him it wasn't just physical – well, it wasn't at all – but mental and verbal. Stiles made me feel like I was beyond enough, like I was a Queen as cheesy as it sounds.

"So, is there any way that you could work things out with Malia?"

His forehead creased in an adorable way. "You want me to keep having sex with Malia?"

I shook my head. "Not particularly, but at least you'd be happy."

"I don't need sex to be happy, Lydia." He reached for his laptop. "I have Scott for that."

I gave him a weird look.

"That's not what I meant." He pulled up my favorite movie as he plopped an eggroll between his lips.

"You're going to watch _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ with me?" I smiled.

He nodded as he motioned for me to come sit by him.

We moved ourselves to get comfortable, which wasn't that hard because we were already so comfortable with each other. We ate and snickered at the movie as the evening went on. When I felt myself start to get sleepy I curled up against Stiles, which he didn't have a problem with. Sleep overtook me with the help of Stiles' beating heart against my ear.

* * *

So please let me know what you think. It'll take like not even a minute. I see almost 200 people have read this already and I only have 5 reviews. It's really disencouraging to not have reviews, like if you don't like it then tell me. Thanks for reading.


	3. Take Me Home

So this was not the first draft of this chapter. Originally I had wrote it so Stiles and Lydia got together and it was really cute, but then I was like wait that's way too soon. I know if I was reading this I would've been like on to the next one. I just like love slowburns. The chase is what it's all about. Plus, I thought that there needed to be a problem within the plot. When there's a problem it's so much easier to write around that and not just make up chapters as you go along. I did that for He Saw Me Looking At You until I could find something to focus on and it wasn't easy. For We Sort Of Ran Into Each Other there was a conflict from the beginning and it was way easier to write plot that way. Anyway, so I was thinking of a way to rewrite it all afternoon. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

Side note: So I've been thinking about Alli A all day and I'm just like I can't handle the 23. A few days after 3x23 aired I went to Walmart because I wanted to honor her in some way, so I bought a pillow that I think she would've liked and a little glass bottle and some ribbon with an intricate design that I wrapped around it. I look to those things to bring me some peace when I get sad about her death because I felt I've honored her in some way. I know that some people are like this is just a TV show and it's silly to be upset over a character dying, but I think if you're reading fanfiction then you did really care about the TV show and Allison. Comment if you miss Alli A and what you've done to honor her memory.

* * *

STILES' POV: Two months later

"So are we going to the movie or what?" Lydia asked clearly annoyed that Scott, Kira, Isaac, and Malia were late.

My leg was bouncing up and down. "Oh my God, Lydia!" I ran my hand through my hair from annoyance at her. "Would you stop complaining for five seconds?"

We sat inside the movie theater lobby. Fifteen minutes had rolled around and they still weren't here.

Lydia placed a firm hand on my leg. "What are you a dog?" Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

I gave her a look. "Very funny."

She texted Kira. "She said their two minutes away."

"Okay." I looked around.

A girl with dark brown hair caught my attention. She was wearing an Aztec print skirt – I knew that because Lydia hated them more than pleather – and a peach crop top. Her tan legs went on for days. She was looking right at me while talking to one of her friends.

"I mean, can you believe that Mr. Bidwell gave me an A minus on my paper?" Lydia went on. "The nerve."

I tore my eyes away from the leggy brunette to look at her. "An A minus? He must be crazy. You clearly do A plus work." I rolled my eyes.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Whatever, Stiles."

We spent way too much time together. We constantly got on each other's nerves, but I loved every second of it.

"Look who finally decided to show up." She said to Scott, knowing that it had to be his fault.

"Yeah, yeah." He cracked a smile.

Lydia linked arms with Kira and Malia. "Let's go get some snacks."

Scott, Isaac, and I watched them prance off.

"Sorry we're late. We had to meet up with Derek unexpectantly."

I waved it off.

"Stiles, why is that really hot girl staring at you?" Isaac asked.

We all looked in the direction he was. Yup, there she was laughing with her two friends, who happen to be staring at Scott and Isaac.

"And her friends are hot." He looked at Scott with a sly smile.

Scott just shook his head. "Do you know her?"

I smiled. "No, but she's hot."

"What about Lydia?" Isaac asked.

"She looks to be moving on to me."

They looked to see her smiling at some Aiden look-a -like. Some things never changed.

LYDIA'S POV:

"Look at them over there," I said we waited in line for our popcorn and candy. "Shamelessly flirting." I zeroed in on the girls. "And look at those outfits." Kira and Malia both gave me amused looks. "What are you not jealous? Kira, you and Scott might as well call this a date. Malia, it's obvious as hell you have the hots for Isaac."

Kira and I both laughed at her face as we moved up in line.

"It is kind of obvious." Kira stated.

She rolled her eyes. "What about Stiles? I thought you had a thing?"

"Please, he's so annoyed with me. We're always at each other's throat."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

It was a no brainer. "Make him jealous."

I looked around for a prospect. There was already some blonde bad boy type that was checking me out. I walked up to him.

"Hey, how's it go-"

I held my hand up to interrupt him. "Save it, I can spot "In The Closets" a mile away."

He looked shocked. "So what are you doing?"

I smiled. "I'm trying to make a guy I like jealous."

He smiled. "Well, I think its working because a group of guys are looking at us. I assume the short one is yours?"

I nodded. "Give me your number. We can hang out sometime. Go shopping."

He laughed as he handed me his phone. "Okay, what's your name?"

"Lydia. You?"

"Cameron."

A few minutes passed of us pretend flirting, and boy was he good at it.

The girls stood a few feet away, waiting with our food.

"Text me." I winked.

He smiled. "I'll make sure to do that."

We headed back to the boys.

"That's how you conduct business."

"Or not." Kira said, referring to Stiles talking to the tan brunette.

"Relax," Malia chimed in. "He's so not over you."

One thing about Malia I loved was that she was a good friend. She told me about their break up. She told me about how it was so obvious we had something. And she wasn't bitter about it.

"So you guys ready or what?" Isaac asked as he eyed Malia.

She went to his side. "Yeah, come on."

"You guys go. I'll wait for Sir Sex-a-lot." I offered.

They headed for the theater as I waited by the bench.

I tried not to spy on them, but it was hard. Especially because I had no idea that Stiles could even flirt. Sure, we bantered all the time, but this was different. And he was wearing that black shirt that clung to him in the right places. Honestly, all of his shirt now clung to him in the right places, but I bought this one for him. God, he was so frustrating. He was picking up a girl in the shirt I bought him.

She was laughing and smiling at him like he was King William.

I rolled my eyes at her touching his shoulder. What a skank. I turned away from them and started playing with the ends of my hair, which had grown longer than I wanted. I was avoiding cutting them because I knew Stiles liked it.

We were studying when he just reached out and played with my hair. It felt so good.

"I know, I need to cut it."

He shook his head slightly. "It looks nice like this." He looked into my eyes with that intensity I was so scared of. He smiled. "How do you think I would look with strawberry blonde hair?"

I laughed. "You'd probably be a hot redhead, but I don't recommend it. People would think we're related."

His face scrunched up at the idea. "What if you dyed your hair dark brown?"

My hair was my identity, I loved it. For Stiles' sake I entertained the idea. "No," He objected. "Then you wouldn't be Lydia Martin anymore."

I smiled at the compliment and memory.

"Are you done daydreaming?" He asked, looking at me as if none of what I remembered mattered to him.

I pushed past him. "I was waiting for you."

He followed behind. "Thank you."

"Whatever," I said under my breath.

Spotting the group was easy because there weren't that many people in this theater. They left us the two end seats. I slid in and let Stiles have the end because I knew he hated them.

Kira looked at me then at Stiles. "Are you okay?" She mouthed.

I just made a face. I wasn't sure.

The popcorn was passed around as the movie started. "I passed it to Stiles a little too forcefully, causing some of the popcorn to fall onto him. I ignored the look he was giving me.

My phone buzzed in my bag. I reached for it to find a text from Cameron and Aiden. I looked at Cameron's, but ignored Aiden's because he was no longer in town.

"Turn your damn phone off." Stiles angrily whispered.

I rolled my eyes as I shoved it into my bag, then propped my elbow on the armrest and laid my head on it so I wouldn't have to look at Stiles.

He passed the popcorn bucket, but I ignored him. He huffed then reached in front of me to give it to Kira. He looked at my face before sitting back.

A few minutes passed and Malia looked down at me, but I wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" Stiles whispered in my ear.

I pushed him away because it tickled and it turned me on. "Nothing, leave me alone." I focused on the movie, but really I had no idea what was going on.

Seconds later he got up and left.

I looked back at him. "What's wrong with him?"

They all gave me a pointed look.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine." I raced after him.

He wasn't in the lobby or the bathroom-I checked. He wouldn't leave me here, so he had to be outside or in his car. I found him sitting with his elbow propped on the door and his head in his hand. He didn't look at me as I sat next to him.

God, I was embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry."

He still wouldn't look at me or say anything.

I huffed. "I was jealous, okay? It's not like we haven't been through this before. You shouldn't be that surprised."

He finally turned toward me. "It didn't look like you were jealous when you were getting that guy's number."

"Well, he was gay and I was trying to make you jealous." I wanted to ask if it worked, but I was afraid of his reaction. "Besides, it wasn't like you were flirting with that linebacker. I mean, did you see her outfit?"

He looked so pissed off. "I was flirting with her because I thought you moved on." His voice rose, which scared me and turned me on at the same time.

"God, you're so stupid! I freaking like you and that's not going to change. I just didn't say anything because I thought you were annoyed with me."

His whiskey eyes gazed into mine then he looked straight ahead, annoyance rolled off of him.

"That's what I'm talking about. You keep doing that and it's frustrating the hell out of me." I folded my arms across my chest. "Sometimes I just think you're tolerating me because you know how I feel. I didn't mean to be hindrance on you, Stiles." I jumped out of his car and stormed off.

I made it about half a mile before he cruised beside me, but I didn't want to talk to him.

"Lydia, get in the jeep. I'll take you home."

I held my head high and kept walking. Lydia Martin was not to be made a fool.

"Come on, we need to talk. Besides it's not safe, you know that."

More silence.

"Oh my God." He complained. "Lydia, would you freaking talk to me?"

"No!" I yelled at him. "Because you drive me fucking crazy, Stiles! All the time, every day. But I love that about you. It's pretty clear how you feel." I continued walking.

"Lydia, get in the God damn jeep or so help me God!"

"Or what? You're going to pick me up and throw me over your shoulder? You can get even pick me up."

He started to drive, which I was thankful for. Only he drove directly in front of me on the sidewalk.

My heart jumped through my chest. "Are you fucking out of your mind?"

"Yes, now get your ass in the jeep because I will drag you in here myself! I'm at least that strong."

I huffed then rolled my eyes at him. "I could freaking kill you sometimes." I slammed the door as I looked anywhere but him. "You've got some nerve yelling at me like that."

He gave a dry laugh. "Yeah, well you've got some nerve telling me you love me."

"What?" I looked at him. "I never said-" Oh, but I did. I avoided his eyes.

There was silence for exactly two minutes before he had to start talking again.

"So are we not going to talk about it?"

"What do you want me to say? Your silence was answer enough."

This was a crap night.

He huffed. "It's not that I don't want you or love you."

My brow arched. "Then what is it?"

"Look at us, Lydia." He met my eyes. "We're not good together. We argue and we drive each other crazy, and I love that. I really do, but if we're already doing that now how are we supposed to be in a real relationship? How are we supposed to last? I'm not ready to jeopardize our friendship because as crazy as you may be I'm still in love with you, and I can't lose what we have, which is why we need to take a break."

Tears formed in my eyes. My chest felt heavy. Damn Stiles for setting my standards so high. No one ever talked to me like he did.

His eyes softened as he saw me crying. He pulled me into his arms. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

I hugged him back, trying to hold in my tears. The last thing I wanted to do was break down, but I was so tired of things be so fucked up. I was so tired of people leaving me. My dad, Jackson, Allison, Aiden, and now Stiles. The way he was holding me made me forget that everything was so wrong. The longer I was curled up to him the longer I would hurt. So I pulled away from him.

"Take me home."

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So comment what yall thought. Did you hate it? Did you think it was too much? Don't forget to comment if you miss Alli A and how you've honored her memory. Please don't leave any rude comments like "I f'd her!" I doubt that they would even get past Moderate Reviews. Thanks for reading!


	4. Remembering Allison

So I've been holding on to this chapter for a few days because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go down this direction - once you get there you'll probably know what I'm referring to. Anyway, I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. :)

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LYDIA'S POV:

It's been two weeks of insane awkward run-ins and half smiles with Stiles since he basically broke up with me. Two weeks since either of us fell asleep next to each other. Two weeks since I've really gotten any sleep. Two week since I've been truly happen. I pretended that he didn't cut me open. He did the one thing I told him was scared of. Losing him.

Stiles was right though. The separation was much needed. I spent the time bonding with Kira and Malia after school and a night I started to read and write. Months ago, spending my time reading purely fantasy and fiction books and writing in a dainty journal I bought would've made me roll my moss green eyes. Now, I relished my nights spent curled up with a warm cup of Tazo tea of my choice.

When I read I could escape into a fictional supernatural world and not have to worry about the very real one I was living in – which also made me connect with the characters on a level normal humans couldn't. When I wrote it was my chance to be completely honest with myself. And if I were being completely honest I was grateful that Stiles wanted space. As cliché as it may sound my time alone let me find myself. I knew that while reading I was vulnerable and while writing I was soul-bearing.

Once I finished my Chamomile tea and the last page of Reclaimed by Sarah Guillory, which I'd recommend for a quick summer read, I headed downstairs for a bite of vanilla bean frozen yogurt. Now a days I steered clear of chocolate. It reminded me too much of Stiles and what we had-had, as in the past.

As I ate a large spoonful of the fro yo I thought about what Stiles said that night in his jeep. I remembered everything verbatim. While it would take more than two weeks to get over someone you're in love with, I was beginning to dream of other things. A smile played on my lips as I thought of Allison and her skills in combat. It would be kind of cool to shoot a bow and arrow.

That's what I did for the next month. Kira helped me with simple movement with the samurai sword, which was really hard at first because it was so heavy, while Malia trained me what she knew of combat and her animal instincts. We kept this between the three of us, although I'm sure that Scott knew without us having to tell him.

It was Friday, Malia and Kira were staying the night. We were going to run our trail tomorrow and practice in the woods. Every time all of us hung out I couldn't help but wonder if things would be like this if Allison were alive. I wouldn't depend on their friendship as much and I probably wouldn't be training right now. Would I still be ignoring Stiles and everything that's changed? Who knows?

We were sitting on the couch in the TV lounge talking over Underworld when we should've been paying attention. Selene was a badass like Allison, maybe that's why I rooted for her instead of the werewolves.

"Would you please spill the beans about Isaac?" Kira begged Malia.

Malia looked at me for help, but this was all her. I mean, I was curious, too. He did love my best friend after all.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you sure that we should be talking about boys? I mean, they all lead to trouble."

Kira and I knew she was right, but we still pressed on, "Spill." We said simultaneously.

"Fine," She groaned. "Nothing's happened. He won't even kiss me and we all know I can be damned enticing."

We all busted out in laughter.

"It's not funny." She hit me with a pillow because I was closest and laughing the hardest.

"Ow." I complained even though I was enjoying myself. "You shouldn't hit the people you love the most."

"Who says we love you back?" Kira teased.

Malia and I hit her with pillows of our own, laughing at her mock serious face and her messed up hair after we hit her.

"I'm not sure if I'm wasting my time liking him when he still has feelings for Allis-" She stopped as she looked at me. "I'm sorry, that sounded really bad."

I waved it off. "Now it's your turn." I told Kira. "Are you and Scott a thing yet?"

Her pale cheeks blushed as she avoided our eyes. "We kind of fooled around."

Malia and I stilled. "You what?" We demanded together.

She groaned as she faced us. "I know, it's so bad." Her thoughts trailed off and a smile crossed her lips. "But it felt so good."

"You horn dog." Malia teased with a shake off her head. She was proud.

Kira laid on my shoulder as she huffed. "Did I mess things up by doing that? I mean, I know Scott wouldn't just blow me off, but-" She was interrupted by our laughter once again. "Guys," She refrained from laughing, but still had a smile play on her lips. "This is serious. I love him, but I'm not sure he's over All-."

We stilled. Malia and I shared a look.

"This is awkward as hell." She locked eyes with Malia. "Both of the guys we like are into the same dead girl." She hesitantly looked over at me. "Oh my God, I'm incredibly insensitive. I'm so sorry, I don't know why I said that."

Even though my heart hurt I couldn't blame them for talking about the dead girl. They didn't know Allison like I did. They never would.

"You know, she's been gone for almost seven months and it still feels like she's going to come walking through that door any minute to tell me about Isaac or Scott. We were best friends since sophomore year. We were sisters. She's dead and I can't let her go." Tears filled my eyes. I wiped them away. "But I need to or else I'm never going to forgive myself."

They wrapped their arms around me, only causing me produce more tears. "You're doing just fine." Kira assured me. "Allison would be proud that you're going through this training. She loved you more than she loved Scott and Isaac."

"What she said." Malia added because she didn't know Allison.

Even though I wasn't sure that was true because it was a different kind of love, it made me happy to hear it. "Thanks." I smiled at them as I wiped my eyes. "Okay, let's watch the movie already." I started it from the beginning because Selene's monologue was my favorite.

It was Monday and I didn't feel like dressing up. Honestly, I didn't want to put on any makeup. Now, I knew I today wasn't going to be a good day. When I stepped into school with yoga pants, uggs, and an oversized red jacket that was Stiles' I got a few confused looks. Even though I'm not nearly as popular as I used to be, I was still talked about.

Kira was waiting at my locker, when she saw me all she could do was stare. "Are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah," I just had a sex dream about the Nogitsune and got myself of to the thought of Stiles. "I'm just tired." And I was. Everything that's happened seemed to be weighing down on me all of a sudden.

Malia strolled up. "Good God, Lydia. Are you sick?"

I pulled my messy bun tighter. "I'm not sure actually." My head was all kinds of fucked up. Jen and I definitely needed to talk about this next session. This wasn't something that I wanted to talk about with Kira and Malia. Maybe Allison, but she wasn't here. With that thought whatever life force that was left drained and I felt incredibly sluggish all of a sudden.

"Maybe you should go to the nurse." Malia suggested.

"No, I'm okay." Even saying that felt difficult.

STILES' POV:

"What?" I glanced up at Isaac, who had been practicing with a pair of Chinese Ring daggers that Mr. Argent gave him before he left for France. According to Isaac, they kept in touch. He hasn't contacted Scott since he left months ago.

He gave me a tired look. "You really need to stop being an ass and apologize to Lydia and tell her how you feel."

I bookmarked my history book then sat it aside because I couldn't concentrate on shit. "I did tell her how I feel. Come on, you saw us together. We were always at each other's throats."

The daggers dipped and soared through the air. I really hoped that they didn't come flying out of his hand and kill me. "So that means that you give up on each other? You guys fight like an old married couple, I would kill to have that with. . ."

We both pretended that he wasn't about to say Allison. It's been a little over half a year and he still wasn't over completely over her death or being in love with her. How could I blame him? If Lydia ever died I'd lose my freaking mind.

I decided to press the issue. "Do you want to talk about it? About her?"

He huffed as he stopped stabbing at the air and started swirling the ring holes around his index finger. "No, I don't."

Even though Isaac and I weren't as close and Scott and I it was easy to read him. "Yeah, you do."

He completely stopped and glared at me. "Stiles, she's dead and I _loved_ her. I still do. End of story."

Being that I was me, I continued to press. "So what about Malia?"

Now he just looked sad. He sat on the edge of my bed. He was quiet for a while, so I figured he'd tell me when he was ready. A few minutes passed by and I think he was on the fence about Malia. He met my eyes. "I think I like Malia." A tiny smile crossed his lips, but disappeared just as soon as it was there. "Just not enough to forget Allison." His fingers played along the blade of his dagger. "She was my first time."

"Being in love?"

He nodded. "We made love the night before she died." He wasn't being boastful, but he grinned in remembrance.

I made a face. "Can you not call it making love? It sounds so weird."

He laughed. "That's what it was. You don't just have sex with someone like Allison."

I was trying to figure out if he was referring to Malia and I bumping uglies months ago, but I didn't think he was.

My thoughts went to Lydia. She seemed to be doing fine for the past month or so. She seemed more than fine, like she could breathe again. I couldn't help but feel as if I were suffocating her before.

"What are you waiting for Stiles?" Isaac asked. "You don't know how long you have until she's gone."

He was right, but so was I. Summer break was right around the corner and this would be our senior year. Even though I missed Lydia I didn't want to live the rest of my life with one foot in her life and the other around the corner waiting for her.

"I need a change in my life."

He nodded. "Maybe you need to leave for a while? We only have a few days left of school. I'm sure your dad would understand."

That didn't sound half bad. Of course I didn't want leave all my friends behind, but a break would be nice. "I'll talk to my dad."

He looked at his phone then back at me. "I'm going to head out. I need to finish some homework."

I grinned, thinking he could've been doing that all along.

"See ya." I waved as he left.

As I walked into school the next morning I went through the motions going to my locker, chatting with Scott and Isaac, having study period with Malia which meant we went to walk in the woods and talk about things, class until I finally saw Lydia. I stopped dead in my tracks as she walked with Danny to our class, oblivious to my staring, which was probably a good thing because I was gazing too intently to be called friendly. Her hair was up in a messy bun, like a not on purpose messy bun that she would wear in public. She was wearing my red hoodie, which was loose on her, along with a pair of yoga pants I bought her – I knew those were it because of the bleach spot by her inner thigh – and a pair of tan uggs. She had never worn my clothes in public before, my heart thumped so hard in my chest as she snuggled in my jacket while chatting with Danny.

Did that mean she missed me?

Hope sprouted in my mind. Our weeks apart had left me down right intolerable to be around. I thought we'd both learn some prospective and then we'd be back to normal, but she hadn't shown much interest in hanging out with me. Maybe she realized that her feelings for the Nogitsune was actually reflected onto me and that she didn't really have said feelings for me. When I asked Malia about it on one of our walks she simply said to let things play out naturally. I realized that I depended on Lydia more than I thought, I pushed myself into research and learning as much as I could from Deaton.

As I stared at the entry way to the class my stomach knotted up. I couldn't go in there. I couldn't look at her in my hoodie and not wrap her in my arms and kiss every inch of that decadent body of hers. Times like this made me afraid that the Nogitsune would resurface when I got all hot and bothered. It stopped months ago, in fact it was like it wasn't even there once I worked it out in my mind. Just because that spirit was gone didn't mean that I couldn't feel remnants of his psychotic thinking. That was something that I would tell no one. Not even Scott.

I headed towards the parking lot, driving until I could find some peace. The fake flowers in my hand felt thorny all of a sudden as I looked at Allison's headstone. "Sorry to keep bothering you. I know you need your beauty rest." I gave a wry laugh, then realized I wasn't going to get an answer. "I'm an idiot." I sighed. "Especially when it comes to your best friend. Nothing's going to change that."

I squatted as I sat the flowers down next a fresh pair that I assumed was from Isaac. Scott would visit, but he refused to leave flowers for his dead first love. "I can't seem to get things right with Lydia. Any friendly advice to the man that basically killed you?" Of course there was no answer. "I want to make Lydia happy, you know that. I just wish there was a way to bring you back." Sadly, I knew that would be impossible.

"A lost love?" A voice asked from behind me.

"Wendy?" I turned to see the tall brunette from the movies. She was wearing a wine red knit cardigan that went past her hip with a grey halter top underneath along with a pair of high waist shorts and black combat boots. Her legs still went on for days. She held flowers in her turquoise ringed hand.

She tucked her curled brown hair behind her ear with her black painted finger nails. "Stiles," She smiled. "I never thought I'd see you again."

My brow lifted. "Neither did I. I thought you were only visiting Beacon Hills?"

She stepped closer, drawing attention to her legs for days. "Oregon didn't seem to agree. My mom found a job down here. She's working at the Sheriff's station." She gave a nonchalant twist of her mouth, but I could tell that wasn't what she wanted.

"Wait, the Sheriff's station?"

She nodded. "Yeah," She looked upset. "Why?"

"My dad's the Sheriff." I gave a small smile.

Her blue eyes held blame. "So this was your fault?" She teased.

My hand raised in defense. "I apologize in advance any trouble that I cost you." I grinned.

She laughed. It was nice like I remembered. "I forgive you." She looked behind me at Allison's headstone and her brow furrowed. "She's a friend of yours?"

I nodded. "She dated my best friend. You remember Lydia? They were best friends." I sighed. "We didn't get to hang out that much, just the two of us."

She looked sad. "I'm sorry to hear that."

I pointed to her flowers. "Who are you here for?"

Her blue eyes avoided mine as she headed a few headstones over. "My brother. Well, half-brother. We never really knew each other growing up, but before he died."

My eyes widened. "Matt was your brother?"

She laid the flowers down with sad eyes. "Did you know him?"

"Uh, not really. We ran in different crowds. I wasn't aware he had a sister."

She met my eyes. "His mom and my dad married while he left my mom high and dry." She ran her black nails through her hair. "Not that I'm bitter or anything." There was an edge to her voice that made me think otherwise.

"So," I shoved my hands in my pocket. "Are you skipping school, too?"

Her brow lifted as a mischievous smile played on her lips. "My school let out a few days ago. We just moved down Saturday." She stepped toward me. "I take it your ditching class? May I ask why?"

I glanced back at Allison's headstone before slowly heading back to my jeep. "Honestly, I needed a breath of fresh air. Things with Lydia aren't entirely too complicated."

She nodded in understanding. "Still in love with the red head?"

"Strawberry blonde," I corrected with a small smile. "Yeah, I am. I've always been and I'm kind of afraid that that's not going to change."

"Define always."

I met her blue eyes. "Since the third grade." My face began to flush.

"And he blushes." She teased. "The third grade, huh? That's pretty serious."

"Tell me about it."

"So," She pressed. "What happened between you two? She seemed to like you as she glared at me at the movies."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. We were constantly at each other's throats and we weren't even dating. I told her that we needed space. She's one of the most important people in my life." I feel a sad smile on my lips. "I want to be with her, but I don't want to risk messing up our friendship. We've come a long way." Nostalgia washed over me. "A year ago I couldn't have paid her to give me the time of day. Now she's saved my life twice."

She was quiet for a few moments, so I looked at her. She looked lost in thought.

"Did you hear any of what I said?" I asked, mock angry.

She laughed. "I heard every word, I promise. I was just thinking that if you really wanted to be with her more than anything then you'd make it work." Her blue eyes were serious. "If you don't try, then you'll regret it for as long as you live."

I grinned at her cryptic advice. "As long as I live, huh?"

She pulled out a pair of mint blue shades that I hadn't noticed she had and covered her eyes. "No regrets." As she headed for her car she turned to look at me. "We should definitely hang out Stiles, being that I'm a Beacon Hills resident and all." She smiled as she pushed her dark curls out of her face.

"Yeah." I grinned. "I'd like that."

As we drove off in separate directions I thought about how small the world was and how I needed a break from the smallness of Beacon Hills like Isaac suggested. Today I'd definitely talk to my dad about traveling for the summer. Who knew where the money would come from?

LYDIA'S POV:

It had been a few weeks since the start of summer and I was sitting at home eating vanilla bean fro yo when the doorbell rang through the whole house. I glanced at the clock above the stove. Who would be here at this hour? My mom was away on a conference, so I was assuming it was for me. I took another bite of my fro yo before answering the door.

My heart froze and jumped out of my chest at the same time. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. I took a step back as my fro yo slipped from my grasp and fell to the floor. All the air left my body.

"Hey," She smiled at me with those coffee colored eyes along with those perfectly beautiful dimples.

My eyes stung with tears. "Allison?"

She stepped inside and wrapped her arms around me. Her skin was warm and her hair smelled like the same vanilla shampoo. She pulled away when I didn't hug her back. "What's wrong?"

"You're dead. I'm dreaming."

Her dad stepped into view. His eyes were tired and glad at the same time. "Lydia, you're not dreaming."

I felt my heart break into two as the tears slid down my face. "This isn't real." It can't be. Miracles like this never happened to me. And this was a miracle.

She gave me a sad smile. "You're skeptical, that's understandable. I mean, how could I be alive? I died." She gave a small laugh. She turned toward her dad.

He closed the door behind us. "I don't understand it either, but she's here. Like you, I didn't believe it when she showed up on my door an hour ago. She demanded that we come see you."

I counted my fingers, then rushed forward, wrapping my arms around her as tightly as I could. She returned the hug with a laugh. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"I wish I could say the same. I remember dying and that's it."

We pulled apart and they explained that Allison literally came back from the dead on her own or at least that seemed to be the case so far. Mr. Argent explained that because of the story we all told the police Allison couldn't return to school. In fact, she couldn't be seen around town. That saddened me because we couldn't go back to the way things were. We couldn't laugh in the halls or go ice skating or double dates.

My thoughts went to Isaac and Scott. "When are you going to tell Isaac and Scott?"

She looked uncomfortable. "We're not going to."

"Um, I think I heard you wrong. Did you say you're not going to tell them?"

She shared a look with her dad then met my eyes. "I can't just uproot their lives, Lydia. It's been almost a year."

Even though she was sitting right in front of me alive and breathing, the thought still saddened me.

"They deserve to know. You can't expect me to keep this a secret from them, especially Scott. He'd never forgive me. Isaac needs to know." When she didn't say anything I went on, "So are you planning on being a badass Huntress and living in the shadows?"

To my surprise they both laughed.

"I'm going to get my own apartment until graduation."

I looked at Mr. Argent. "You're okay with this?"

He thought about it briefly. "I'm more than okay to have my daughter back. I'll do whatever it takes to keep her."

His affection for his daughter always tugged at my heart. I wish my dad felt that way about me. But that wasn't important right now. My best friend came back from the dead. Everything other problem seemed to go away.

"So," I looked them both in the eye. "How are you sure this isn't temporary or someone playing a witchy trick on you?"

Allison shrugged while looking at her dad. "We don't. That's another reason I don't want to tell Scott and Isaac. We're going to figure out what happened, but for now we're going to have to satisfy ourselves with a sleepover."

I laughed, thinking about my dropped and probably melted vanilla bean fro yo. "Are you staying, Mr. Argent?"

He gave me a small smile. "Actually, if you don't mind. I can sleep on the couch down here."

"Absolutely not, there's a guess room upstairs and down the hall from my room."

With the fro yo cleaned up and some tea made we headed upstairs. Her laughter filled my room as she jumped onto my bed. God, I only dreamed of hearing it again. I couldn't help the smile from breaking free as I jumped on the bed with her.

"So," She took in my longer hair that I still haven't gotten cut. Then she looked around my room before looking back at me. "What's changed?"

I shrugged. "Nothing really." I wasn't sure that she wanted to hear about Scott and Kira being a step away from actually dating and Isaac and Malia in an awkward whatever it was they had.

She gave me a pointed look. "Lydia Martin, I've been dead for almost eight months and not one thing's changed? I don't believe that. Tell me about you and Aiden, are you serious now?"

I subconsciously made a displeased face. "He left and besides things weren't serious with him."

Being that she was Allison, she knew me all too well. "So who's this other guy that's got you in lala land?"

I met her eyes nervously. "Why does there have to be another guy?"

She grinned. "Because your room is full of presents. That teddy bear on your shelf and that drawing of the nemeton on your desk. So I'm going to ask again. Who's the other guy?"

"Stiles." Emotionally exhausted I laid back on my bed. "Don't say it."

"Don't say what?" She smiled. "That I knew it and I told you so."

My eyes rolled, but I was glad. "Yeah, well he wants space, so I'm been giving it to him."

She looked confused. "Wait, we're talking about Stiles Stilinski, the guy who's been in love with you since as long as he can remember?"

"I sure hope there's not any other guy named Stiles Stilinski." I tried to joke, but it fell flat. So I need to explain and I did for what felt like forever. During the whole time I refrained from pinching myself, afraid that if this _was_ a dream that I'd wake up.

It was almost three in the morning when we fell asleep.

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Hey, so comment on what you guys think? Was it too much? As soon as I wrote Allison coming back I felt like she wasn't really dead on the show. I felt like her being alive in my story was real and it took some of the lingering heartache away, which I'm glad for because there's less than a week until season 4 and Crystal isn't in it. Have you guys seen the season 4 intro Jeff released? It's pretty cool. Anyway, thanks for reading.


	5. Holding On And Letting Go

I've only gotten one comment about bringing Allison back so what do you guys think?

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ISAAC'S POV:  
Malia and I sat on the back porch of her house, looking up at the crescent moon. Her visit with Peter still hung in the air. She wasn't one to talk about her feelings openly, but with me she could. I was think I knew why, but I wasn't completely sure. Yeah, I had some feelings for her, maybe she had them for me, but I didn't want it to go anywhere. I couldn't.  
"What are you thinking about?" She asked, nudging my shoulder.  
I looked at her, comfortable with the fact that I could talk to her about this. "Allison." I huffed.  
She pursed her lips. "Ah, that explains the pining look you have on your face."  
My elbows propped on my knees. "In a few months it'll have been a year since she died. She seemed invincible and I didn't think I'd lose her." Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back. "I'm sorry, I feel like I always talk to you about Allison. That has to be annoying."  
She squeezed my shoulder. "Honestly, I don't mind. I always talk to you about Peter, but it's different with you. You were in love with her." She gave a little laugh as she removed her hand. "I wish I knew what that was like."  
"You'll find someone. I mean, you're pretty cool so. . ." I nudged her shoulder.  
She laughed. "By pretty cool you mean awkwardly brazen and naïve."  
"No, I mean funny and beautiful, but I guess awkwardly brazen and naïve work too." After I said it I realized that I just flirted with her, but she didn't seem to notice.  
She wrapped her winter coat around her and gave me a shy smile. "Thanks," She looked out at the woods. "You know, I'd say the same to you, but it's not actually true." She teased. When she took in my mock offended face she said, "I'm only joking, Isaac. You're great. You should get back out there once you allow yourself to move on. There's a whole forest of wolves out there."  
I grinned. "Maybe so, but I'm going to hold off for a while. What about you?"  
She looked uneasy. "What about me?"  
My brow furrowed. "You don't think you should start dating? You are a sixteen year old girl, not a coyote."  
She shrugged. "So far my luck in that department hasn't been the best. Despite popular belief, I did like Stiles, but I couldn't stand in the way of Stydia." She put air quotes around the last word.  
I laughed. "Stydia?"  
She rolled her eyes. "Their couple name, Lahey. Even I know that." She teased.  
I nodded as I understood. "So what was your couple name with Stiles? Maliles?"  
She just shook her head. "Stalia. You're terrible at this. You and Allison were Allisaac, Scott and Allison were Scallison, and you and I are Stalisaac."  
A small smile played on my lips. "We're Stalisaac?"  
Her cheeks blushed. "I mean, if we were a couple, which we're not, we would be Stalisaac."  
"Malia?"  
We turned to see Mr. Tate standing in the doorway with a stern look.  
"I'll be in soon, dad."  
He went back inside.  
She turned to me. "Thank you again for helping me with Peter. I don't know how I would've gotten through that without you." She surprised me by kissing me as I turned back to her.  
We sort of just looked at each other with wide eyes.  
"Uh, I was going for a peck on the cheek." She said defensively. She shot up and ran into the house with an awkward wave goodbye

Guilt and anger still ate me up inside even after all this time. No one knew, but I'd never forgive myself for what happened to Allison. If she hadn't been there, if I didn't distract her then she's still be alive? I placed the flowers in my hand onto her grave. I came here every week to put new flowers on her grave. Irony struck me. This is where I changed into the very thing got her killed. Maybe if I wasn't so selfish . . . I'm so angry at her because chose to save me instead of herself. Who does that?

"So," I started nervously. "I miss you. . . I miss you more than anything. If I could take it all back I would. Falling in love with you wasn't worth losing you." I looked down at the headstone, tears stinging my eyes. My hand wrapped around the Chinese Ring daggers in my coat pocket. "I would give anything to go back and let you stab me again." I let out bitter laugh as my fingers danced along the blade in my hand.

"Are you sure about that?" She appeared in front of me.

This was a reoccurring dream of mine, that she was still alive. It was a cruel yet beautiful game that my mind liked to play. Only this felt more real and I couldn't remember going to sleep.

"Yeah." I hung my head. "You deserved better than this."

She folded her arms across her chest and grinned at me. "I couldn't have picked a better way to go." Her vanilla perfume wafted around me as her coffee eyes gazed into mine. She smelled so real.

My heart thumped in my chest. "I wish I could move on from you, but I can't." I turned from her. "It's been months and all I can think about is you. If you weren't already dead, do you have any idea how much I want to kill you for what you did?"

"What did I do?"

"You chose to save me and it got you killed." I groweled. My claws extended and dug into my palm.

Her warm hand tugged at my wrist, sending lines of fire throughout my entire body. She tried to meet my eyes, but I couldn't look at her. "I'd choose to save you again if I had to. Besides I'm back now."

I gave a bitter laugh. "I need to go see a therapist. These are becoming more real."

"What's becoming more real?" Her hand cupped my cheek.

I could die like this and be perfectly happy. "My dreams." I met her eyes. "You look almost as beautiful as she did."

Her hand snaked out, grabbed the ring dagger and stabbed my in the stomach. "Almost?"

I keened over after I pulled it out. Okay, that felt really real. My hand covered my stomach only to see the blood on my hand along with five fingers. Realization hit me. This wasn't a dream? I met her eyes.

She wore an amused smirk. "You know dying and coming back to life does take a toll on you."

Somehow I rose to my feet. All I could do was stare at her. The bags that were under her eyes and the milky skin that seemed even fairer. There was a lump in my throat that seemed hell-bent on staying there.

She looked confused. "Oh, God. This was a mistake." She headed for the black woods.

My hand reached out before she could get far and pulled her warm body back to me. I gazed down at her like I was seeing her for the first time as I listened to her frantic heartbeat. "You can't come back to life, stab me, and then run away."

She smiled. "Actually I can. You thought you were dreaming before. How do you know you're not?"

My shaky thumb traced her lips. "It feels like I can breathe again."

She trembled under my touch, making me think of our last night together. Her heartbeat sounded like it was about to jump out of her chest. Good, so was mine. "How did this happen?"

She peered around us, then tugged me into the woods. "We're still trying to figure it out. We're not sure."

"We? Wait-how long have you been alive?"

She looked scared in that moment. "Almost a month."

I pulled away from her. "And you're just now talking to me?"

She stepped closer. "I didn't want to get your hopes up, we still don't know how this is even possible."

"You keep saying 'we'. Who else knows?"

"My dad and Lydia. It's not what you think-"

"What do I think? That you told Scott?" She cringed from my words. "Did you tell Scott?"

Her silence told me everything that I needed to know, everything that I'd been trying not to think about.

"Wait, you don't understand." She ran in front of me, stopping me in my path. "It's not like that."

My eyes flickered between golden yellow and blue as I tried to rein in my emotions, but it wasn't working. "It's not what, Allison?" I stepped forward, lowering myself to meet her. "You didn't tell me because I wasn't important enough, but you told Scott. It was always Scott. I knew that and I chose to ignore it because I fell for you! But you're still in love with him, at least that's what I heard a few feet away as you died in his arms."

"Would you have rather it been in your arms?"

"No, I would've rather you didn't die at all!" The unshed tears in her eyes brought me back under control. I groaned. "I didn't mean to make you-"

She held up her hand. "It's fine." She averted her eyes.

"Allison, I'm not trying to be an asshole, but you said what you said. You can't pretend it didn't happen. _I_ can't pretend it didn't happen." My hand cupped her cheek, relishing the softness. She met my eyes. "I love you, I'm in love with you, but I can't be in a love triangle with you and Scott."

"Scott has Kira."

My head hung for a second, the tears stung my eyes again as I bet hers. "You still haven't denied it."

Her bottom lip trembled. "I love you."

My hand slid from her face. "I believe you." I kissed her forehead. "You'll always be the one that got away." I headed for anywhere but here.

"Wait, Isaac."

I couldn't look back.

"Isaac!"

It took everything in me not to turn back when I heard her crying.

ALLISON'S POV:

My heart felt like it was collapsing in my chest as I held onto my own headstone. Tears ran down my face, I didn't bother wiping them away. I focused on my headstone, hating what it's done. My foot shot out, kicking it before I could stop myself.

"Gahh!" I screamed, not caring who heard.

Beacon Hills was the death of this family, it would always be. My eyes went to my mom and Kate's headstone a few feet from mine, allowing just enough room for my dad. We could all be the perfect family in the ground.

Within a few minutes I pulled myself together long enough to drive back to my secluded apartment downtown that no one would suspect an Argent of living in. I didn't want to be weak and continue to break down, but I envisioned our reunion so many times in the past month and none of them went like that. How could I be so stupid to think Isaac wouldn't remember what I said to Scott? Granted I wasn't in love with Scott in the same way, we discussed our feelings for each other about a week after I told Lydia I wouldn't tell anyone I was back. Scott and I both agree that we still have lingering feelings for each other, but that we didn't want to act on them. He told me about everything with Kira and I mean everything. It surprised me that I wasn't jealous, I was happy for him. So I told him about Isaac and I, everything that happened and how it felt.

_Street noises flooded through the window I always left cracked, loving the breeze it brought in. Criminal Minds was about to come on and I needed to catch up. A knock on my door interrupted my dinner. I shot up from the couch and peeped out the peep hole. My heart jumped in my chest as I pulled the door open. "Scott?"_

_ He stood in the doorway long enough to make sure I was real, then quickly came into my tiny apartment. "Allison, what-how is this possible?"_

_ I shrugged. "We don't know. We're still trying to figure it out."_

_ His chocolate brown eyes glistened up. "You really weren't going to tell me?"_

_ Guilt riddled within me. "Not until we knew it's a permanent thing. I mean, how rude would it be for me to just pop back in your life one day and not be there the next?" I tried to joke, but it fell flat._

_ He yanked me into a bone crushing hug, not letting me go for at least five minutes. "I missed you."_

_ I gave a small laugh, trying to pull away even though it was nice to hug him again. "I missed you, too." _

_He let me go, looking around my apartment. "Wow, nice place you-"_

_ I punched him in the arm lightly. "Don't insult me, I know its low key." _

_ He grinned his boyish grin. "You were about to eat dinner?" He sat on the couch and started eating without asking. He knew he could get away with it because we were both happy to see each other. _

_ I grabbed another a fork from the kitchen, or rather kitchen area. Scott was using my chopsticks. My eyes narrowed at him. "So my dad told you, huh?" I joined him, picking at the beef and broccoli he wasn't paying attention to. _

_ He shook his head. "No, Lydia. Don't be mad at her. I could tell something was eating her up inside, and she finally told me." He looked at me with his half grin. "This feels like a dream." He looked down at his hand, then back at me. "It really is nice to see you again."_

_ I grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I really wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."_

_ He focused on something in the corner. "I get it, Allison. You said you were looking into it, do you have any leads? Did you talk to Deaton yet?"_

_ "No leads," I picked at the beef. "We didn't want to involve Deaton. I know he's like a father to you and I didn't want to put him in that position." I watched him eat expertly with the chopsticks._

_ He felt me staring. "What?" _

_ I grinned. "You and Kira must've been spending a lot of time together?"_

_ Any trace of lightness left him. His eyes turned serious as he looked uncomfortable. _

_ "It's okay, Scott." He met my eyes. "I know I shouldn't have dropped that I love you bomb on you when I died. . . That still sounds weird to me." _

_ He didn't know what to say._

_"I get that you like Kira and I'm not here to stand in your way and I didn't mean to bring up old feelings. I just wanted you to know that I will always love you. Maybe I should've chosen better words to say that. I'm sorry that you've had to hold onto that all this time. You didn't deserve that."_

_ He sighed as he sat the food on the coffee table. "You know, some part of me knew that's what you meant, but I still clung to what we had. Now that you're right in front of me those feelings aren't there." He took my hand. "I will always love you, too." He gave a half smile. "I'm so happy that you're back."_

_ I laughed. "Me, too."_

_ "Are you going to tell Isaac?"_

_ My head shook. "I can't. I can't do this to him. Not after everything that happened. He's moved on, and I don't want to disrupt that. He's better off-"_

_ "Do you really believe that?" _

_ I averted my eyes. "I have to. It's been seven months, Scott. He's okay without me."_

_ "It's not about whether or not if he's okay, it's about how you feel about each other."_

_ I met his eyes. "Are you telling me that he hasn't met anyone else?"_

_ "Define anyone else?" He laughed at my reaction. "Relax, He's not interested in Malia in the same way he still is in you."_

_ Confusion coursed through me. "Malia? Malia Tate? The werecoyote?" _

_ "Yeah, things between her and Stiles didn't work out. Has Lydia told you about that?" Amusement filled his tone. _

_ I laughed. "I know before she did that she was in love with him, but yes she told me. They're something else."_

_ "Yeah, they are. So, tell me about you and Isaac."_

_ My brow arched. "You want me to tell you? About everything?"_

_ He nodded, biting into an eggroll. _

_I couldn't help the smile on my face as I told him everything from how it was innocent, how it felt to be around him, how he comforted me when my dad sacrificed himself, how we tried to push it away, how we were together, and yes that was awkward, but I knew Scott supported me and us. When I was through he told me everything that happened between him and Kira. I listened with my head on my knees, too excited to hear everything. It felt so good to have that mutual support between us. _

_"A year ago who would've thought we would where we are now?" I threw out there._

_He had a faraway look in his eyes. "Yeah, this is kind of weird and exciting in a weird way." He chuckled._

_I laughed with him, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, it definitely is." I couldn't stop my eyes from stinging. "But I'm glad that we can be there for each other like this. It really means a lot to me." I wiped my eyes. "That was so out of the blue, I'm sorry."_

_He wrapped his arms around me. "No, I understand. If I didn't mind ruining my Alpha image in front of you I might tear up right now, too." He teased in good nature._

_My fingers pinched him on the shoulder as I pulled away. "Don't make fun of me." I laughed._

_"Ow." He grinned, then took out his phone. "I better go." He stood._

_I walked him to the door, hype off of happiness. "Please, don't-"_

_He turned to me. "I'm not going to tell him, I promise. He might hate me for it, but I won't tell him."_

_"Good to know, but I was going to say don't hesitate to come back."_

_ He grinned. "Oh. I won't." He bent down to hug me again. "I won't. Actually, if you're free this Sunday Lydia and I can bring food and bad rent movies? What do you say?"_

_ I laughed at his cheesy grin. "I'd love that. Don't flake on me, I'll be very upset." I warned._

_ He held his hand up. "Scott's honor." _

_ "It's Scout's honor."_

_ "I was trying to be funny, but you ruined it. Okay, I have to go." He gave me another quick hug in the doorway and a quick kiss on the forehead. "Bye, I'll get your new number from Lydia. Love you."_

_ "Love you, too. Drive safe." I watched him head down the long staircase and get on his motorcycle. This all felt so surreal. Maybe because I died or maybe because I wasn't in school and living with my dad anymore. _

Just as I jumped out of the shower there was a knock on my door. It had to be Lydia.

She was in a set of flannel pj's so unlike her with her hair up in an unintentionally messy bun holding a carton of vanilla bean frozen yogurt. "Seriously, you're luck with guys is the shitiest." She joked with a teasing grin.

I hugged her while holding my towel up. "You're right." I grinned as she stepped inside. "I'm going to get dressed. Did you bring them?"

She held up A Walk to Remember and The Notebook. "But of course. To answer your question, I'm dressed like this because it's comfortable. And maybe Stiles bought for me as a joke, but nevertheless, it's still comfortable."

"You're so in love with him, it's cute." I laughed all the way to my room. Leave it to Lydia to realize it after all this time. Then again, things happen for a reason. Like my death, maybe I was supposed to die so everyone could form new relationships. As dumb as that sounded, if I really thought about it it didn't seem so dumb. Lydia has been training with Kira and Malia, Isaac's been helping Malia out with Peter, Scott's been reconnecting with his dad. I could only assume these things wouldn't have happened if I died. To think that your life or death indirectly affects others is insane, but it's true.

"You didn't die in there, did you?" Lydia called from the living room area.

I quickly put my shorts and a black shirt I kept from the night Isaac and I spent together. "Very funny."

She started the movie as I sat down and handed me a spoon. "Love you." She smiled shyly.

I laughed as we hugged. "I love you, too. You know, I couldn't ask for a better best friend." My lips pursed. "Well. . ."

Her hand shot out and slapped my boob. "Hey!"

My hand covered my boobs in cast she tried it again. "I was only kidding. No one else would watch Nicholas Sparks movies with me and bring me vanilla bean frozen yogurt?"

We leaned our heads together as Landon spotted Jamie for the first time. Unshed tears already filled our eyes as we stuffed our faces with frozen yogurt."

Throughout the movie my mind kept going back to Isaac, but Lydia knew I didn't want to have a cry fest over a boy right now. At least not over a real boy, but fictional ones were welcomed.

* * *

Hope you guys liked it. Please comment and let me know what you think, it really helps. I get really happy when I get a review and I only have 13 for this fic, so please leave a review :) Sorry for the funky format, there were some complications with writing this. Thanks for reading! I'll be updating We Sort Or Ran Into Each Other next and it should be some good Allisaac stuff for those of you who are into that lol.


	6. Whose Fault Is That

LYDIA'S POV:

Almost every day I'd been acquainted with the library during my free periods, scowering for books to teach me things I didn't already know. Today was no different. Except there Stiles was, sitting at a nearby table when I found some heavy readings. He was intently reading a book with a cup of coffee in his hand.

He glanced up and saw me watching him, giving me a smile. "Hey."

"Hey." My face was probably red as a tomato from getting caught staring. I gave a polite wave and a half smile.

I looked away quickly. He was the one that wanted the break. After sifting through some more books I found one that caught my interest. I peeped back at Stiles, who was sipping on his coffee as he intently stared at his laptop screen with narrowed eyes, which was really kind of adorable. Before I got caught, my eyes drifted back to the books. Moving to the next isle, I picked up ones with a cool title and pretended to read the backs, sneaking peeks at him.

_This is ridiculous_, I told myself. _Stop being so needy_.

When I spotted one that actually caught my attention, I reached to the top shelf, but even in my three inch heels I couldn't get it. There was no step stools around to aid me, but that didn't hinder me from pursuing this book. I needed it.

Long pale fingers snatched the book from its spot on the shelf. My eyes trailed down the exposed forearm and onto lean muscle. Suddenly, surrounded by that familiar heady cologne Stiles always wore. Our eyes locked as he handled over the very thing that brought us together. My fingers brushed his, sending tingles up my arm.

"Uh, thanks."

He read the cover of the book. "Twilight." His whiskey eyes held a dose of smugness, as well as the grin on his lips.

"Don't look at me like that, Stilinski. Like you've gotten me all figured out." My free hand grabbed the book, then propped on my hip.

He leaned in closer with a daring glint in his eyes. "You do know that I've wanted you since the third grade, I figured you out before you figured you out."

My brow arched, my lips pursed, distracting some of that effortless smugness off his face. "You think you have me all figured out?" I stepped closer

"Oh, I know I do."

I grinned. "So what am I going to do next?" My hands snaked up his chest.

He obviously didn't see that coming. "Uh, we're in the library with other people, so whatever game you're trying to play – Oh, God." He stilled as my hand traveled to his quite muscular butt and squeezed.

"You were saying something about my predictability?"

He grinned goofily as his cheek wiggled in my hand. Was he trying to twerk? No amount of self-control could've prevented the giggle fit that poured from me, from us.

"Why are you still grabbing my ass?" He whispered with a trace of amusement as we got more than enough glares.

I laughed as I removed my hand. "I don't know." I fell into him in another fit of laughter.

He held my hips as he chuckled into my ear, unknowingly driving me up the wall. He lowered his gaze to mine, remnants of his laughter still on his lips.

My breath was coming in wisps, my heart pounding out of my chest. A blush settled over my cheeks as his hand snaked to the small of my back, trailing fire with his touch.

"Lydia," His breath wisped across my lips.

All it would take was me pressing my lips into his. I pulled away from his grasp without meeting his eyes. I cleared my throat. "Thanks for the book." I rushed out of the library, quickly letting the Librarian I was putting them on hold. She didn't question it, I was in here enough to have an unbreakable bond with her that she'd do me this solid.

"Lydia, wait." Stiles called after me in, catching me on the empty stairwell, gently grabbing my wrist.

"What?" I spun around. "What could you possibly want?"

He looked taken aback as he removed his hand. "I wanted to talk. We haven't done much of that and I miss it."

"Whose fault is that?" I headed down a few stairs, then turned back with anger. "You know _you_ were the one who told me you wanted to take a break. What did you expect was going to happen?"

"Not this," He met me at the stair above the one I was on. "Not us skating around each other for months."

"What was I supposed to do Stiles? He said you wanted space, not me. I've been giving you space, I've been walking on nails trying to make you happy, so don't act like this was my fault." I glanced around us and lowered my voice. "If you wanted to talk you could've come to me. Instead you let me believe that you were okay for months. I already lost my best friend, I didn't need to lose you, too." He reached out, but I pushed him away. "And I told you that that's what I was afraid of and you did it anyway." My voice cracked and I knew I was crying, I couldn't look at him. "You promised that you would be there for me."

"Lydia, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about it like that. You looked so happy without me, like you could breathe again," He pointed to himself. "And I didn't want to ruin that."

"Well, I was faking most of it. You think that I would be happy in a world without you in it?" I met his eyes. He didn't say anything. "That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Obviously, you don't know how much you mean to me. How I feel about you isn't going to go away just because we give each other space." Was he totally blind? "I'm in love with you and I've been in love with you for seven freaking months, Stiles. How can you not see that?"

He looked at me with shocked eyes, not saying a thing.

I gave a little nod as my eyes met the ground. "Okay, I get it." I turned on my heel and headed anywhere but here. Anywhere with Stiles was a place I didn't want to be, so after going back to the library for the books later that day I headed home with a carton of chocolate ice cream. My mind drifted back to that night on the boardwalk when I indulged and he brought us ice cream. I huffed as I thought about our kiss, the only one since then. Now it felt like the only other one that we'd ever have. It was so painstakingly obvious that he didn't want us together. I told him I loved him twice and all I got was a break up and silence. By now, you'd think I knew how to take a hint, but things have never been this hard with anyone besides Jackson. This was something different. What Stiles and I have. . .had was something different, and I stupidly thought we'd end up together.

My mom was out so I had the house to myself, I let out a sob that I'd been holding in for months while I was trying to be strong, and look where it got me. Nothing I could remember ever felt this bad, it felt like an elephant sat on my chest and my heart would explode into a billion tiny pieces that couldn't be put back together again. So I just laid in my bed and cried because I could. Hours later when the tears dried up and I looked like a mad women, my doorbell rang. No way was I answering that, not looking like this, and this wasn't just going to go away in five seconds.

It rang a few more times and maybe I drifted off to sleep, tired from all the crying, so I didn't notice the dip in my bed or the wet washcloth that was placed over my forehead. All I could do was sleep and try not to dream of Stiles.

What felt like days later, I woke with a start. The washcloth fell from my forehead as I sat up. Allison sat at my desk, going through some my photos on my laptop, scrolling through photos without her. She turned to meet my eyes.

"You're awake, how are you feeling?" She sat beside me.

I rubbed my eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"

She rubbed my back. "Since I got here, around five. It's almost ten."

I groaned as I leaned into her. "What are you doing here?"

"Ouch. Can't I visit my best friend without being hassled?"

"When the whole town thinks your dead, I worry about your intentions." I hugged her. Who would've thought I'd ever get to do this again? "Are you okay?"

She snorted a laugh. "You're asking me if I'm okay? Why were you crying? You didn't answer the door."

I really didn't want to talk about it, but this was Allison and for months I didn't think I'd be able to this ever again. "I flat out told Stiles I was in love with him again and he just stood there." I wiped at my eyes. "God, I'm a mess. Since when do I cry over a boy? Let alone Stiles Stilinski?"

She chuckled as she completely wrapped me in her arms, rocking me back and forth. "You're in love. Love makes you do crazy things and feel crazy things. Give Stiles some time."

That's all I've been giving him. I couldn't help but think this is what he's been feeling like for years. How could he stick around that long, making him feel this way?

"It's more than that." I whispered into her shoulder as I held on for dear life.

"What do you mean?"

"You said I was in love with him, but it's more than that. I don't know how to explain it, but it's so much more than that."

She sighed. "Trust me, I know that feeling."

"Scott?"

"Isaac."

Suddenly, I felt ten times worse. Allison wasn't one to mope about guys, but I could still talk to her about it. Why hadn't I done that the other day?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Nope, I just want to hug you to death."

Her joke was not lost upon me. "Very funny." I pulled away to look at her. "Seriously, do you want to talk about it?"

Her eyes were sad. "Talking about Isaac and I isn't going to change anything between us. He thinks that I'm still in love with Scott and I can't blame him. I sure as hell didn't tell him I wasn't. I don't know why I didn't. When I saw him everything we had flashed in my mind and I couldn't help myself."

"I thought you said you weren't going to tell him until we figured this out?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, well that went out the window as soon as I saw him. I didn't plan on running into him, but he was there at my grave. He was talking to it, to me about us. I didn't have it in me to not let him know I was alive. I just-I just had to feel his eyes on me and-"

"Allison?"

We jumped at intrusion at my window. Stiles was perched in the window, seemingly holding on for dear life and when he locked eyes with her his grip loosened, sending him flailing to the ground with a terrifying thud.

My heart just about jumped out of my chest as I looked down at him from out of my open window. "Oh my God. He's not moving." Dread filled me as I rushed down the stairs and out to his unconscious body. "No, no, no." I silently prayed as I checked his pulse. Dammit, I didn't have my phone on me. My hands frantically found his phone in his jacket pocket, dialing 911. "Hi. My boyfriend fell out of my window. He's not-he's not moving and I don't know what's wrong-808 Page st. We're in the front lawn." My eyes found the piece of white coated wood sticking into his side. "No-he's bleeding. What should I do? You expect me to do nothing besides apply pressure? Okay-just please hurry." I didn't bother wiping my tears as I laid my ear against his moving chest. "Please be okay."

Allison appeared.

"You need to go before they get here."

She shook her head. "I can't leave you like this." She dropped down to the grass with me. "I'm not going to."

"No," I sobbed. "You have get out of here. You need to be safe. We don't know-"

"I'm not leaving you again." She all but growled at me as she took off her cardigan and pressed it around the wound.

Stiles shifted, giving a little groan.

I wiped the tears off my face, not caring about the blood on my hands. "Don't move, help's coming."

After the ambulance got there and loaded him in the back of the truck I climbed in or tried to.

"Hold on a minute, you can't ride back there. You can ride in the front if you want." The male MT said.

"We don't have a minute and he's my boyfriend, I'm not leaving him!" I jumped in with Stiles.

"Ma'am, you can't be b-"

"While you're debating this with me he is losing his life, so please just get in the damn truck!"

"Ross," The black woman interjected. "You heard her, come on!"

Allison followed behind in her SUV. Her dad wasn't going to be too happy about this, but I couldn't think about that right now.

"Is he really dying?"

The black lady looked at me. "You never know until they get him into surgery, but by the looks of it he's going to be okay. Nothing too serious." She tried for a smile.

My hand grabbed his. Seeing him hooked up and bleeding like this scared the shit out of me. He looked so helpless laying there, so human.

"Honey, save your tears. Your boyfriend should be okay." She gave me an encouraging look.

I wiped at my eyes with my free hand. "You don't know that for sure." No one knew.

She handed me a wet wipe. "You have blood stained on your face. You don't want to freak your boyfriend out when he wakes up, do you?" She smiled and it make me laugh between the tears.

I took the wipe. "Thanks." I sniffled.

Once we got there Melissa McCall was the first person I saw as she rushed to us. "Lydia, what happened?" She looked at Stiles in horror.

"He fell from. . .from my. . ." I tried to explain but the tears kept coming.

She squeezed my shoulder. "You need to go sit in the waiting room. I'll let Scott know. I'll come see you as soon as I can."

I nodded as I furiously wiped at my eyes. That was all I seemed to do today. "Okay."

Allison joined me shortly after, receiving a lot of confusing stares. She ignored them as she held my hands in hers. "He's going to be okay."

That unknowing dread filled me. It was all I could think about.

Not even five minutes later Scott rushed in the waiting room, locking eyes with us. He couldn't hide his surprise that Allison was in public as he rushed us. "What-are you okay?" He asked both of us. He grabbed me and pulled me to him, letting me sob into him. "He's going to be okay. He has to be. My mom said it didn't look that bad."

"Scott, I have blood stained on my hands and face."

He pulled me away to look me in the eyes. "Lydia, this is Stiles. He's going to be okay. I promise."

My chin trembled. My hands shook. I couldn't help but think the worse as we sat back down.

"He's going to pull through because he knows you're here waiting for him." He gave a small smile as he took my hand while Allison took back my right.

Forever seemed to pass before Melissa came back with the Sheriff in tow. I was too scared to meet the Sheriff's eyes.

"He's still in surgery. If all goes well, he'll be in recovery in a few hours." Melissa announced. "Lydia, do you need anything?"

I shook my head as guilt filled me.

"Lydia, can I talk to you?" Sheriff asked.

I followed him into a semi private nook of the hospital. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. If I hadn't-"

Sheriff placed his hands on my shoulders. "Lydia, this is your fault. If anything it's my son's fault for being so clumsy." He joked.

I stared at him. "How can you make jokes when he's in surgery right now?"

He sighed in that tired way of his. "I have to make jokes because he's in surgery right now."

My bottom lip trembled as I looked away from him. "I'm sorry."

He held up his hands. "It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for this. It'll drive you crazy."

Already there thanks to the dreadful pit in my stomach. "There's no one else to blame."

He pulled me in for a hug, reminding me why I liked him so much. He felt like a surrogate dad like Allison's dad did. "I think he knows you're hear fighting for him, he's not going anywhere."

I pulled away. "I don't know about that."

A look of confusion crossed his face. "Well, this is Stiles we're talking about. If Lydia Martin is here for him, he's pulling through." He gave me an encouraging smile. "Okay?"

"Okay." A small laugh escaped me at the affirmation.

"I'm going to go talk to some of the nurses, see if I can get any fresh dirt." He patted me on the shoulder before leaving.

I head back to the waiting room just as Kira showed up.

She found me and rushed to me. "Oh my God, are you okay?" She crushed me into a hug with that samurai strength of hers. "Is he okay?"

Some of my nerves eased as I hugged her back. "I don't know. He's in surgery. How'd you find out?"

"Scott told me." She pulled away to find Allison and Scott holding hands. "Uh, I must be dreaming."

I lead her over. "No, you're not."

"How did this happen?"

I shrugged. "We don't know."

Scott rose to hug her with a pained look on his face, pulling away from Allison. He held Kira so close to him I thought they would become one. He shook. Was he crying? Kira shushed him, rubbing his back.

"He's going to be fine." She cooed. "You're going to have your best friend back in no time."

I looked at Allison, she seemed fine with this. Not in the slightest bit jealous.

She looked back at me. "Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded. Now I was worried about Scott and what would happen to him and Sheriff he something happened to Stiles. I forced back the tires, tired of crying. All I wanted was to be there for Scott, but Kira was doing a pretty good job and she sat in his lap, holding his head to her stomach as he fought the tears.

Kira and Allison locked eyes.

"I'm really glad you're back." Kira said with a polite smile. She reached out her hand for Allison's and gave a little squeeze.

Allison nodded. "Thanks. I'm glad you're here for him."

I had a feeling they would be having an awkward conversation later. All of them.

"Where the hell is Malia?" I muttered.

"She's at Peter's with Isaac. I told them Stiles was here, they're on the way back to town." Kira confirmed.

Allison shifted beside me, clearly aware of the thing between Isaac and Malia.

"I wouldn't give it much thought," She said to Allison. "They aren't together."

Allison gave her an appreciatory smile as she stared ahead. "Thanks."

I must've fell asleep on Allison's shoulder because she shook me awake. "Huh?"

"Lydia, Stiles is awake."

My eyes shot open. I took in m surroundings, remembered what happened. "What?"

"He's in recovery. Melissa said you could go see him." She smiled.

Relief washed over me. I met Scott's eyes. "You should come with me."

He rose, giving Kira a quick kiss on the lips before following me.

When we got to his room he was asleep, which I should've expected. He looked so peaceful, unlike before when he looked dead to me.

"Aww, look at him." Scott grabbed my hand. "He looks so cute."

I choked out a laugh as I met his chocolate brown eyes. "Yes, he is."

He smiled. "You guys are going to be okay." He promised.

We placed chairs on either side of his bed and prayed that everything was fine. Just because he lasted through surgery didn't mean he was a hundred percent okay. The Sheriff came in not too much later and sighed with relief as he stared at his son.

Scott rose to pat him on the back. "I'll be in the waiting room. Let me know when he wakes up." He gave me a quick hug before leaving.

"Uh, I'll just be outside." I found a set of empty chairs. It wasn't long before sleep overtook me again, probably from all the crying and worrying I've been doing. I dreamed of happy things like all of us years from now settled down and parented.

_Kira was sitting on Scott's lap as we sat around a lawn table in a random backyard, Allison and Isaac laughed at something Stiles said as he patted my bulging belly as I sat in between his legs. Our hand linked, my fingers ran over his wedding band as I smiled at Malia who was arguing with some faceless guy. I sipped my lemonade as everyone else tasted a little red wine. _

_ "Mommy!" _

_ Allison grabbed her daughter and blew her kisses into her stomach, giggling with her. Isaac looked at them with adoration in his eyes as she reached for him. _

_ "Aww, what's wrong sweetheart?" _

_ Scott whispered something in Kira's ear that made her blush scarlet red as she slapped his chest playfully._

_ Malia jumped up and chased after her two sons. "Jason, Peter, get your asses back here." _

_ "Malia," Allison chastised playfully. "Language."_

_ "Sorry my two werecoyotes are testing my patience." She whisked after them as they teased Kira and Scott's daughter. _

_ Stiles' arms tightened around me, reminding me that I didn't want to be anywhere else. "Pretty soon that's going to be us." He said into my ear. _

_ I beamed up at him. "I can't wait." I pursed my lips for a kiss._

_ He met my lips with a purse of his own. "You're going to make a phenomenal mother."_

_ My heart pattered in my chest every time he said things like that. "I love you so much."_

_ His brow furrowed. "I didn't hear you say I'm going to be a great dad."_

_ I laughed as his realization. "I love you." I said again._

_ He gave me a look of pure happiness. "I love you, too." He kissed me again, this time with more force._

_ When he pulled away I gazed into his eyes. "I'm glad you're the father of my child, Mr. Stilinski."_

_ He lowered his forehead to mine. "Me, too, Mrs. Stilinski."_

"Lydia," Someone shook me. "Wake up."

I groaned, stiff as I sat up. Those chair handles sure were hard on a girl's back. My eyes met whiskey ones. My heart jumped in my chest. "Stiles?"

He kneeled in front of me in his hospital gown. "Yeah, I'm here."

Alarm rose as the doctors noticed him.

"Sir, you can't be out of bed."

He was okay and he was in front of me.

He turned to them. "I'm talking to my girlfriend, so." He turned back to me and winced.

My heart constricted at the word girlfriend as I ushered him to his room. "Are you out of your freaking mind? You can't be out of bed, you just had surgery."

He rolled his eyes as the nurse helped me.

I laughed at his expose backside. "Stiles, you are aware that your robe is open in the back, right?"

"What?" He looked behind him and shrugged. "Oh."

His indifference only made me excited. He laid back down with a sarcastic look on his face as he glared at the nurse. "I'm fine, geez. What kind of hospital is this anyway? I can't even check on my girlfriend without causing a fuss." He shook his head in irritation.

There it was again. Girlfriend.

After the nurse hooked him back up and checked his bandages she gave him a serious glare. "Don't make me sedate you, Stilinksi."

He made a sound of disgust as he watched her leave. "The service in the place is horrendous, just so you know."

Even though he was making light of this situation I was still very much aware that I could've lost him today. And then where would I be?

He met my eyes, a look of understanding crossed his face. "Come here, don't cry."

My arms wrapped around him as I snuggled my face into his neck, somehow forgetting he was injured, causing him to groan in pain. I muttered an apology. For some reason earlier I thought I was done crying, but the floodgates opened up as he embraced me, spreading his warmth around me.

"Please don't cry, I'm okay."

That only made me cry harder. How close had I been to losing him? A few minutes away or a second away?

I brought my forehead to his as I sat down on the side of the bed. "You are not allowed to be in here ever again, do you understand me?"

He wiped away my tears as he took me in. "I'm sorry I put you through this." He held his hand to my cheek.

"I don't want to hear your sorry ass apology, I want to hear you promise me."

He grinned as he gave a slight nod. "Okay, I promise you that I'll try not to end up back here."

I choked out a laugh as I playfully hit his shoulder.

"That's a very loose promise. You do know that I'm only human?"

"Shut up." I pressed my lips to his, long enough to reassure me that he was okay. I broke away from the kiss, forgetting that my feelings were one-sided. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, what's with the stopping?"

I gave him a look. "You didn't say anything when I told you, I thought you didn't. . ."

His hand grabbed mine. "You silly, Banshee, why do you think I climbed through your window?"

"Why'd you come through the window, why not the front door?"

He grinned. "I was trying to be romantic. I guess it worked."

I shook my head at his logic, but smiled regardless. "Was this tour plan all along?"

His eyes held a mischievous glint. "You'll never know."

I laughed. "You're mean."

He squeezed my fingers. "And you're too cute when you're worried about me."

My brow furrowed together. "You could've died. I was a little more than worried, Stiles." My voice rose. "Next time you try and pull something like that remember if you don't die I _will_ kill you."

He made a face. "Geez, this is what I get for trying to woo you."

My hand went to his cheek, loving that his breath hitched at my touch. "You've been wooing me for seven years. I didn't need you to climb through a window just to tell me you loved me."

A teasing grin played on his lips. "I didn't say I loved you."

I would've hit him again if not for the Sheriff busting into the room along with Scott.

"Hey, buddy." Sheriff grinned from the door.

Scott came to the other side of the bed. "Bro, you wiped out." He patted his shoulder.

"It was worth it." He brought my hand to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss upon it.

Heat filled my cheeks. "I'm going to be in the waiting room. I'll come back after you get some rest." I pulled away, avoiding looking at Scott because I know he was smiling too hard. I caught the Sheriff's eyes and nodded as I headed for the door.

"Lydia," Stiles called.

I turned to look at him.

"I love you." He grinned.

"I love you, too." I beamed. I waited until I was out of earshot to squeal and do a little dance. A few of the nurses laughed at me, including Melissa.

She walked up to me. "I take it Stiles is okay and you're okay?"

"He told me he loved me." I hugged her.

She gave me a look. "And you didn't already know that?" She gave a half shrug. "It's kind of cute to the roles have reversed."

"What do you mean?"

"When you were here after Peter bite you Stiles stayed the entire weekend, sleep on some chairs with a bunch of balloons and stuff."

Guilt riddled within me. "Oh." Back when I was a royal bitch to him and he cared enough to sleep on these hard ass chairs. I didn't even see him here.

"You don't sound too happy about that."

I sighed. "I wasted so much time ignoring him. I could've lost him today, before we could. . ."

She gave my arm a friendly motherly squeeze. "But you didn't lose him, so don't waste time thinking about the past. Live in the future. I know I am." She laughed and nodded down the hall.

Scott's dad was heading for us.

"Ms. McCall, you're not dating with Agent McCall, are you?"

She blushed. "Define dating?" She whispered before he could reach us.

"I'm pretending I didn't hear any of that." I smiled at her as I headed back to the waiting room, briefly smiling at Agent McCall.

Allison was still here, sitting beside Kira, who had Malia and Isaac on her other side. Oh, God. This had to be awkward on some many levels.

Malia spotted me and practically attacked me with hugs and kisses on the cheek. Kira shortly joined her. I don't know why, but we were all crying pretty soon.

"Guys, everything's okay." I assured them. "Why are we crying?"

"I'm not crying." Malia lied. "You're stench is just that strong."

I pulled away. "What?" I had that whole moment with Stiles smelling of BO?"

She wiped at her eyes. "I lied, I was crying."

Kira and I laughed at her as we went back in for another hug. Everything was going to be okay. I had my girls, I had Stiles, and I had Allison. My eyes drifted to her, she tried not to look jealous, but I could tell she was. I motioned for her to join us, but she shook her head.

"Guys," I whispered. "Allison is a little jealous right now so I'm going to need us all to shimmy over there and get her in on this."

"Good call." Kira made as carefully took our cuddle triangle over to her.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

Kira and Malia pulled her into the triangle, making it a square, which she was even more surprised by. We squeezed and laughed until she started laughing with us, then we attacked her with hugs and some pg-13 kisses. I'm sure we all looked like needy children up against her, her height making her look older.

"Enough." She couldn't contain her laughter.

I saw Isaac trying not to smile at the scene we were making. "You want some to, Lahey?"

He held up his hands. "I'm good."

We moved to him, tugging Allison along with us. Being that they were more around the same height than any of us to him, they were closer than either of them realized. Maybe I was the only one that saw that tension that crackled between him because I knew it was there well before she died. When we all pulled away they wouldn't look at each other, not that they really were before. I wasn't sure if Malia and Kira noticed, but if they did they didn't say anything.

"What time is it?" I looked out at the window. It was day time.

Isaac looked at his watch. "Almost eleven. We've been here all night."

We all looked at him.

He realized harsh he sounded. "Not that I have a problem with that."

I shook my head as I refrained from smiling at him.

"But I am about to fall asleep." He added.

I snorted a laugh and everyone joined in.

We ended up not going to school that day, which was a Friday, so it wasn't too bad. Stiles was released two days later and I was so. . .nervous. We hadn't kissed since that Friday and I was terribly confused about what we were. I mean, he'd grab my hand when I'd come see him and I give him hugs, but sadly no kisses passed between us. Part of me wondered if I dreamed the whole I love you part, but when he looked at me it was all in his eyes. So why no kisses for me?

I couldn't just show up to his house with a lame ass teddy bear and flowers. So what did I get him? When I walked into his room with shopping bags he looked up from his book.

He smiled. "Hey, you went on a shopping spree before visiting me. Glad to know where you're priorities are." He pouted.

My eyes rolled as I sat the bags on his bed. "I didn't go shopping for me asshole."

"You bought me presents?" He looked confused.

"Well, yeah." I shrugged before taking out the stuff. "I kind of didn't know what to get you, so I just got you. . .a lot of stuff. I mean, half the stuff you probably won't even like, so. . ."

He looked at me with an unknown emotion in his eyes as he took in everything. He probably thought I was a fucking creep now. Shit.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I averted my own.

His hand grabbed mine, pulling me toward him. "Because you amaze me and you just pulled 'A Stiles'." He grinned.

"A Stiles?"

He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Is your memory that terrible? I bought you a bunch of stuff for your birthday."

"You're right, I pulled 'A Stiles'." I stared at his mouth, being this close was torture. All I wanted to was kiss it to death. Well, not to death.

"What's wrong?"

I met his eyes reluctantly. "Why won't you kiss me?"

"Why won't you kiss me?" He challenged.

My brow furrowed. "I thought you regretted it." I huffed. "I don't what I believed."

His hand cupped my neck, pulling me to his lips for what I thought was going to be a quick peck, but turned into something much more. His tongue sought mine, playing a cruel game of tease Lydia. It rained confetti in my head, firecrackers exploded, and bitches were popping bottles . . . Okay, the last part wasn't true, but I thought it was funny. His lips tugged on mine with the right amount of pressure. I moaned into our kiss, grabbing his shirt by the fistful. He bit my bottom lip before pulling away in time enough for his dad to come into his room.

He waved. "Lydia, I'm glad you're here." He smiled. "Just so you know I'm here, too, so keep it pg-13 guys." He warned Stiles with a look before leaving.

His hands placed me on his waist. "I'll take that under consideration." He practically attacked my lips, knowing just the right thing to do to get me to squirm on his lap. He groaned into my ear, moving his lips down my neck. To make matters worse I could feel him up against me.

I couldn't expect what happened to happen, but it did. I came. My cheeks felt like they were on actual fire.

His lips stopped moving on my neck. He craned his face to look at me. "Did you just. . .?"

My eyes met his. "Uhh, yeah." I nodded. "I did."

He looked at me with that same smugness he had in the library, like he knew everything about, and just a whole lot of turned on to that. "I just made you cum by kissing your neck." He assessed.

My lips pursed. "Do you want a cookie?"

"No, not the kind you're offering."

Oh, dirty bastard. "Who says I'm not offering?"

He grinned at me, knowing we couldn't do that with his dad in the house. Plus, he was still pretty injured. I supposed I could just do all the work.

"Ohh!" Scott popped into the room. "You guys are so gross." He teased. "Can I join?"

I jumped off of Stiles' lap. Did he hear everything?

Stiles laughed at the face I made. "Not this time, buddy."

Scott surveyed all the gifts on the bed. "It looks like a Walmart in here." He met my eyes. "You upstaged me," He smiled in that boyish way of his that warmed my heart.

"Sorry, I spoiled him." I patted his chest.

"I know, I heard." He teased.

Stiles couldn't contain his laughter, I wanted to laugh, but this was embarrassing. They dapped up right in front of me.

My moss green eyes narrowed at him. "Cyprianek Emiluśka Stilinski, how dare you."

Stiles just stared at me with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Dude, she just full named you."

I shot him a look.

"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll be downstairs with everyone else."

Everyone else? Now I was really embarrassed. I'm guessing everyone included all my supernatural friends with supernatural hearing abilities.

"Good luck." He told Stiles before shutting the door.

Stiles groaned and not in the good way. "Shit, Lydia. I'm sorry. I didn't even think-"

"I forgive you." I grinned like

He laughed, surprised. "Well, that was easy."

"Honestly, I'm totally embarrassed that I just full named you."

He rose. "I'm surprised you know my full name." He pulled off his shirt, wincing.

My eyes trailed down his chest as he reached for a shirt that I bought him. He smirked at me, knowing my mind was a devious place. I shot up. "Let me help you." The last thing I wanted to watch was him in pain. Did I have interior motives? Yes.

He saw right through me. "You know, you feeling me up isn't helping."

"Says who?"

"Says me, woman." He pulled me to him, kissing me like I was the only thing he needed. "I love you."

Hearing him say it again, I couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "I love you, too."

We headed downstairs, receiving some knowing glances. I tried my best to ignore them as everyone welcomed Stiles back. Even Derek was here, still as broody as ever.

Malia made room for me between her and Allison on the couch, they'd been chatting up about something. Neither of them were throwing looks so I figured they were okay. I searched for Isaac, who looked just as uncomfortable standing next to Derek.

"You little slut." Malia said into my ear. "I heard you. I remember what those lips could do."

All I could do was laugh. Allison was clearly shocked, but I wasn't nor was I offended. Malia hadn't said it to be a bitch, but to tease me. She probably didn't think it was in the slightest bit offensive.

After that everything calmed down and we all did something that felt like was never going to happen again. We all just hung out.


End file.
